Raina: Chapter 18

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Raina needed time to think, time for herself.  She felt like her body was getting pulled in each direction with the “wedding” and her plan.  The wedding was set to be in a couple days, giving Raina limited time to cast her spell.  Now she had time as her mother returned to Vanaheim to settle some issues in the court.   Raina and Mae had been secretly preparing Raina for her plan.  If she was to succeed, she needed time and lately time had not been on her side.

 As Raina traveled, she found herself down a familiar hallway except this time she did not hear noises from behind closed doors.

Instead, she was back in front of the door that she last saw Loki.  He never came to dinners anymore and she had given up talking to him mentally.  Her heart burned to stand so close to the last place she saw him—and for a second she hated him. He did not even give her a second to explain anything.  How could she have known that he would have a backup woman.

And he told me that he loved me…Raina let a teardrop make its way down her cheek and onto her black dress.  She held back the rest as a rush of emotions clouded her mind.  I cannot cry anymore.  She told herself this mantra, but she had not been listening.

The door to the study was closed.  She put her hands on the dark wood door before saying a pray.  With a deep breathe, she opened it to find the study empty except for the fire crackling low in the fireplace.

She breathed again, knowing full and well that she did not want to see Loki.

She sat down in front of the fireplace holding her knees to her chest and decided to sing for the last time,

*“And if I recover

Will you be my comfort

Or it can be over

Or we can just leave it here

So pick any number

Choose any color

I've got the answer

Open the envelope

I'll give you one more chance

To say we can change or part ways

And you take what you need

And you don't need me”

She repeated the words, letting them melt into her heart.  Her plan could result in complete failure and if that was the case she did not want to come back expecting things to get better.  Her heart would not be able to take it…she would be cruel like her mother and she did not wish to let her heart blacken the way Allise had done.

The weight of all her worries became heavy and her eyelids were like lead.  She decided to lay down in front of the fireplace.  Preparing the spell was taking a toll on her and she hoped that she would have enough strength in the end for it to be successful.  She continued to repeat the song lyrics until finally she was fast asleep.

*The song that she sings is actually "Recover" by a band called Chvrches. Listen to them! I am in love with their music at this moment :)

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