Let Me Be The Wallpaper That Papers Up Your Room

CHAPTER 4

Dazai-in-Tamaki's-body twitters around the host club. A young princess sits on an upholstered armchair – Dazai sits before her on his knees, grabbing her hand. "My sweet princess, will you caress my body with your sweet, sweet fingers and then blend me in a smoothie machine and drink me like a sweet nectar of youth?"

The girls leans forward. "I'll suck you like a sweet nectar of youth," she says in a lewd fashion.

Dazai leads her out of Hawkeye's music room and into the adjoining office.

Meanwhile Mori-senpai, Mafia leader, is in the host club, sipping a glass of red wine and staring at the most gorgeous little girl. When Honey was thirteen he discovered his love for cross-dressing, stealing clothes from Kunakida's secret girl closet, and now goes under the pseudo of Elise. Elise desires a lot of attention, short flouncy skirts and a pink bunny to make her happy. Mafia Mori cannot stop gazing at her gorgeous, toned calves; unshaven legs – Elise is a dream and she knows it. Mafia Mori beckons Elise over and she perches her round buttocks on his thigh, looking up at Mafia Mori through blonde lashes. She says in a high tone, "Will you be my Daddy?"

Ouran Mori's dark eyes surveyed the room in an attempt to look after his cousin. Mori's eyes met Mori's eyes and gave him a dark look.

"As long as I can call you my beautiful girl," Mori says with upturned lips. Elise's giggle is short and pinching to the ear, but Mori is a desperate elderly man who needs to have his perverted desires fulfilled.

Sanji is getting desperate again. Nami has started flirting with Brook and even Sanji's obsession can't rival the dead. "It's disrespectful to interfere with the dead's wishes, right?" Sanji asks Chopper.

Chopper is too busy polishing his antlers as he looks at Tamaki's teddy bear. "Do you reckon she'll like me back?"

Sanji looks at Chopper oddly and at the inanimate object Chopper is planning to bone. "Sure, Chopper. She'll adore you."

Chopper drools and wipes at his chin, polishing his hooves now. "Do you think I'll have a chance?" he asks, mouth open. He huffs and his chest heaves as he looks at the teddy bear Tamiki has perched on a footstool.

"Of course," Sanji says in a heavy tone, looking at Chopper in confusion.

Meanwhile Sanji, who has had trouble sitting still, stiffens when the most beautiful woman enters the room. He looses control – his arms have a mind of their own – they start waving at his sides – his legs loose control in a crazy tap-dance – he falls to the floor and moves in a very worm-esque way – Zoro follows beside the etheral woman and touches her arm – he touches her arm!!! Sanji, alarmed by Zoro's game, shouts, "Damn son!"

Zoro looks at the floor Sanji and knows exactly he is so infatuated. This woman who he is guiding through the host club she has never been in – is not a woman. He's a crossdresser. But the name of Kuranosuke. He loves jellyfish and princesses, and most importantly, his brother Shu.

Looking at Sanji's state, the snot-esque warrior snorts. "Oh, he definitely likes you," he says to Kuranosuke.