Woven

Dirty Little Secret

        Richard did not know if it was hatred towards himself or sheer disgust over his own actions that had caused his hand to tremble as he grabbed his pen.The candle kept alight on his table flickered only occasionally by the feeble wind that blew in through the spaces in between the heavy curtains that lined the door.It was as though mother nature had asked her children to stay quiet in silent anticipation of the revelation of his sins.
               I know that I was doing the wrong thing all along,that weird feeling in the pit of my stomach made me aware of that.But the way my heart flutered when I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her was addictive.I couldn't get enough of her.Mayeb the fact that it was forbidden made it all the more desirable.I could see right through the brave face that she had been putting up,her innocent eyes gave it all away.Yet I cheated the only woman I've ever truly loved in my life.I hid from her the truth that I had been betrothed to another woman.I made promises to her knowing that I would be bound to break them one day,I showed her the highs only to push her into the bare ground one day.the enormity of what I had done is beyond me.Father if you can hear me,please forgive me,please give me the courage to face her when she inevitably confronts me with the truth.And I would be selfish enough to plead to all the Gods in the world  to not make her hate me,because I don't think I could ever stop loving this woman

"You still do that?"

            A strange voice shook Richard from the trance he had fallen into  after his emotional outpour.

"Elizabeth!What a pleasant surprise.Any reason for an unannounced arrival?"

      Richard enquired quickly tucking his diary into the drawer,putting up a poker face which he was very used to by then.
"Father didn't tell you?Our wedding has been moved to an earlier date"

Richard went blank only for a moment before he regained his composure.

"Of course! How could I! It's just that I have been terribly busy with my work"

"You always are ,yet you find time to spend with your diary,I must be the first woman in the history to feel jealous of a book"

Elizabeth retorted,her lips set into a thin line,masking the smile blossoming within it.Her grey eyes shone in the dim candlelight.She wore a perfectly fitting lace embroidered dress that went past her knees.The brown tinted red dress  accentuated her perfectly symmetrical features,a genetic blessing passed on from her mother's side.

"Oh Richard I can't even express how much I have missed you,I would have died if I had been put through one more of Granny's torturous embroidery classes"
Elizabeth quipped as she tightly hugged her fiance as if her life depended on it.Richard's hands lay by his side,motionless.Fortunately for him,she was too excited to take note of that.
"You are with your  grandmother now?"

"Only for the past month though it feels like an eternity to me.She said she wanted me to go stay with her before the wedding.Mind you I would have never hopped on that train to London had I known it was a fatal trap"
Elizabeth burst out laughing as she made her way to the balcony.

"Oh sweet Lord! What a wonderful sight!Is that a carnival I think I see?"

Elizabeth shouted to Richard swinging merifully back and forth the balcony railings embracing the cool touch of the breeze.

With the word "carnival" Richard's thought diverted back to the woman he had deserted just a while ago at the carnival.

"Would she understand why I had left?Did she also see him maybe?Does she suspect me now?Does she regret ever having met me?"
Pure paranoia flooded  Richard's mind making him feel terribly uneasy.

"Do you know where your father is?"

"Well he came looking for you as we couldn't find you here.I thought you met him already?"

Elizabeth enquired shutting the balcony doors.

"I think I saw someone like him at the carnival but had to leave before I could talk"

    Richard said through clenched teeth thinking how he had to abandon Seetha on seeing Michael watch them.He knew that fueling Michael's suspicious minds would only put Seetha's life at risk.

"You went to the carnival?All by yourself?I can't remember you going to any carnival since the time you were 12"

"It was part of the duty.I had to track down someone"

"Okay .........well now that I'm here.......... will you take me to the carnival?"
Elizabeth asked,her eyes brimming with excitement.
Richard sighed knowing that he has no other option but to disappoint her.

"I wish I could Elizabeth but I have important matters to discuss with your father"

"That's funny,because he told me that you are free  of duties tonight"

She asked,her brows set into a frown.

"Well this just came up,ask him in the morning if you don't believe.Now please go and get some rest you must be tired from the long journey"

Richard heard her utter a weak "goodbye" as he exited the room.His heart was set on finding the one person who was hell bend on wrecking havoc in his life.He had had enough of hiding the truth.Michael will have to abide by his wishes,it's his life after all.