Dear Evan Hansen, It's Connor Murphy~

[11]

I lifted up a jam filled doughnut, desperately attempting to reduce the amount of sugar that fell off it onto me as I took a bite out of it. We had decided against coming up with ideas for the Found project after only being able to scribble down a few words, and instead thought it'd be nice just to treat this as a picnic of sorts and just hang out. I quite liked being out at this hour and being able to look at the stars, and just be with Connor. The light reflected in his warm eyes perfectly and added an additional sense of life and beauty. 

"Evan, you have jam on your face," Connor giggled before making me realise I was staring. He shook his head playfully and leaned forward to wipe it off for me, brushing his thumb over my cheeks and corners of my mouth.

"Thanks....but I could've done it myself," I blurted in an attempt to be casual. I had never been like this around him before I was hit by the realisation that perhaps I thought of him as more than a friend. It was only recently that I would stare at him for minutes and talk quickly when he interrupted that. It was like how I acted when I had feelings for Zoe, and that didn't end too well. 

"We would've been here for ages if you were trying to find where it was," he retorted, winking and sending a shock of various emotions through my body. I pouted in response, though couldn't keep up the act and ended up laughing.

~

Connor's POV

The night progressed, and eventually Evan was leaning on my shoulder inbetween reality and sleep, shaking slightly from the cold. I couldn't help but smile at his subtle changes in facial expressions with every draft of wind, yet despite the entertainment I got from it I still gently struggled out of my jacket and wrapped it around him, ensuring his comfort. We should've gone back, but I liked being here, merely sitting under the stars and Evan cuddling up to me. The world was quiet and it was as if it was only us, which was extremely pleasant. I couldn't wake him up, even if it was approaching midnight, but the car that had slowed to a halt on the road out of the park as if the person inside it was trying to get a good look at us encouraged the fact that we should probably go home. 

Carefully, I wrapped my arms around Evan's torso and legs to lift him up, supporting the rest of him with my own body. Despite my initial concerns, he was surprisingly light. I began heading towards the entrance of the park on the opposite side to the car- it was probably nothing but just to be sure- cradling Evan and trying to reduce the bumpiness so he didn't awake. With every few steps I glanced down at him- partly to make sure I didn't disturb him but simultaneously just to look at him. He looked particularly adorable in this state. 

I stepped into my house, my mother ready to snap at me for being so late home before hushing her. After realising Evan was sleeping, she merely exchanged a glance of both anger and thankfulness that I was home. I had decided to bring him here since I didn't want to have to raid through his bag to find his house key, and on the off chance his Mom was asleep at home, I didn't want to wake her either. 

I layed him out delicately on my own bed after finding a way to remove his shoes, and gently tucked him into the covers. A faint smile appeared on his lips as his body was engulfed in the warmth, and I couldn't help but smile myself. My heart fluttered at the sight of Evan looking so peaceful, and that fact alone confirmed it for me. I had felt these strange feelings since we met up for the first time after sending our initial emails, feelings you wouldn't feel for a friend. Then again, what would I know, I haven't exactly had many of those to be able to compare. But, from what I've read in books and watched in movies, you don't feel this particular way about friends. It's indescribable, and something I imagine would vary from person to person, but I just want to be with Evan. All of the time, for forever. I want him to cuddle up to me all of the time, I want to stargaze with him while holding hands, I want to take him the orchard, I want to treat him to an ice cream at 'A La Mode', and...maybe...I want him to be my first kiss. 

How I felt at this moment, when my heart and stomach fluttered at something seeming so insignificant, confirmed it for me. I love Evan Hansen. 

I shot a glare at the doorway to make sure nobody was watching, before awkwardly leaning down and planting a 'goodnight's kiss' onto Evan's forehead.  

"Goodnight, Evan."

~

As promised, fluff!

I wanted to do something as if Evan had fallen asleep on Connor but that wouldn't work from his perspective, and thus half of this chapter is in Connor's POV. I'm not going to do this again probably, unless Connor's inner monologue/feelings can't be described through what Evan can see.

I hope you liked this ^-^

~TeenyWeenyCoconut