Dear Evan Hansen, It's Connor Murphy~

[14]

What.

Connor slumped back into a more comfortable looking position, as if his little confession had just allowed him the ability to relax. My best friend, my only friend, had told me that he felt the same way about me as I did about him. 

"You're joking, aren't you?" I murmured, unsure of where I was supposed to go from here. He shook his head slowly, fiddling with his hands, picking off loose bits of black nail polish. A large part of me was happy that I wasn't alone in feeling this way, that perhaps we could take this a little further than just being friends if we're in the same boat, but another part was slightly unsure of what the right thing to do was. I could pretend I don't feel that way, and then keep our friendship, or admit it and potentially risk losing what we have and making things awkward, since making things awkward is what I do best. I sat still momentarily, before coming to a conclusion. 

Sharply, I turned to Connor and shuffled closer, attempting to press a kiss to his lips but missing, instead planting it onto a lower part of his cheek. His flesh was soft for the most part, with some parts possessing some short stubble. I liked it, though, despite missing my original target. 

"Connor," I hummed, sitting back slightly yet still pretty close to him. "I...uh...well...the person I was talking about...also happens to be you...so..." The early autumnal rain continued to beat down on the vehicle, making the silences we continued to experience as we both figured out what to say a little bit less awkward. 

He smiled, returning back to his usual self. "That's good then. Shit, if it turned out you were actually talking about Jared or someone I think I would have imploded." He grinned, ruffling my hair as he spoke. 

~

What initially was supposed to be a pleasant outing to the river resulted in confessions on both sides and a failed first kiss. The cascading water droplets showed no signs of stopping, so we had decided to head home. The vehicle pulled up outside of my house, the engine fading away as we came to a complete stop. 

"Thank you for hanging out with me," I automatically retorted out of politeness. Sitting up slightly ready to get out of the car, I was stopped by Connor pulling on the back of my shirt. 

"Well...before you go," He began, once again becoming graceless with his words. "You missed before...when you tried to kiss me...so, do you want to try again?" Jerkily, I turned around, this time not approaching as fast as I had done previously. Gently, our lips came into contact for a few seconds before we had to break it. I smiled awkwardly, waving as I finally left the car. 

Connor waved back, once again grinning. "See you, Evan!" 

~

Heck

I was trying to make this not cliche or like every other fucking fanfiction but this was churned out instead. 

Sorry it's a short one! 

-TWC