Broken And Lost (STEREK)(Completed)

Chapter 25: Thoughts and Recreation

"He was mind controlled?" Stiles asked. "But all of the nights and things I got from him."
     "What are you talking about?" Sam asked.
      "Why would he do that? Let her take him?" Stiles asked.
        "Stiles she was going to do it to you. She had the piece in her hand," Sam said. "Or she was going to kill you with it. We haven't figured that out yet. But, Derek seen it and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt you."
     "I don't care about myself!" Stiles said. "Now this is actually my fault... Everything that has happened is my fault. And everything that will happen too. Is because of me."
     "Stiles don't. Don't blame yourself," Sam said.
      "Why shouldn't I?" Stiles asked.
       "Look, Stiles," Sam started. "Derek did it to protect you. He loves you and he will never let anything get to you. To him you are more important the the rest of the pack." Sam was giving hints.
       "Look. Sam. Derek doesn't have to protect me. If he loved me. He wouldn't have let Angela take him without a fight," Stiles said. "No matter how important I am... I haven't even wanted to think about him. I haven't talked about him. Touched anything that was his personally. I just went into his room! I had panic attack over going into his room. I hated him. I want to continue hating him. It's easier. But this changed my mind. I can't hate him. I love him. And whatever the hell happened to me. And what that was. Just makes him look like a hero. And I don't want him to be a hero if he's not here."
     "I think that's kinda selfish," Sam said. "I know a few things. And I think that you don't want to hate him. But, if you don't hate him, you love him. Which is harder on you. I understand that. Dean was a demon. Running around with the king of Hell. I hated that, but I love Dean. We are going through the same motions with different aspects."
     "What are you trying to say? Because you're just repeating what I said and then adding your own life story. Which I already knew. You two would do anything for each other," Stiles explained. "Everyone knows that."
     "Yeah. And you would do anything for Derek and he would do anything for you," Sam said.
      "Don't do that. Don't psych me. You're a lawyer. Not a psychiatrist," Stiles said.
      "I took psychology. I was a messed up kid," Sam said. "But you know that I'm right."
      "Yeah. Well I need time to think. Lots of time," Stiles said. "This really put a blow on my Christmas."
      "Stiles. You're not supposed to know about any of this," Sam said.
       "Of course I'm not. Secrets. People are keeping stuff from me," Stiles said. "I know. I study human behavior at school..."
I told you so.
   "Shut up," Stiles mumbled.
     "What?" Sam asked.
     "Nothing. Just... I'm going back," Stiles said. "I'm hungry."
       "Right.."
  Stiles went back to the house. Everyone was downstairs and eating some type of breakfast, When Stiles came in and went straight upstairs. They gave a strange look to Sam, who was right on his heels. Sam shrugged. Stiles grabbed new clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. The only way he was going to get alone time was to shower. He sucked in a deep breath as he stepped under the hot water. Visions of Derek danced under his eyes. And the voice taunted him.
He didn't leave to protect you. He knew what it would do to you. He did it on purpose. He despises you. And the only way out was through Angela. Think about it. He didn't put up any fight. He let it happen. He couldn't stand any more time with you. So he took the last option. Even if it meant taking away his own perseverance. It's all your fault. Now the pack doesn't have an alpha. You were selfish. And stupid. Should've killed yourself when you had the chance. Now you have put them through more shit. Until you take that blade and slice your own neck. Isn't it beautiful? The blade you keep hidden in your pocket. So much power. You should do it now. No one will come and help you. They will smell you. But, they won't care. No one cares. Not even Theo. You couldn't keep him around either. You just push everyone away with your disgustingness.
  "Stop," Stiles said taking a deep breath. "Give me just a little more time. I'll do it. I just need to get through this holiday."
  Christmas Eve is tomorrow. The tree will be lit and everyone was getting their gifts ready. The house was decorated. Music was playing. Stiles loved the smell. Christmas had an amazing smell. Today will be the end of Theo as well. Lydia had told them that it wasn't worth putting on a crusade trough Christmas. So Stiles told Isaac that it was time. It's been one day since Stiles seen them. Stiles messaged Isaac and told him to come upstairs. And make it a point that he was coming to see Stiles. Isaac had fallen into the plan nicely.
"Stiles wants me upstairs," Isaac said getting up from the couch.
"Why?" Lydia asked.
"I... Don't know," Isaac looked at Theo. Who was trying not to look like he was paying attention. Isaac went upstairs and found Stiles in the bathroom. Theo waited before he followed. They waited to hear Theo's footsteps and Isaac quickly wrapped his hands around Stiles waist and kissed him.
"What the hell is this?" Theo yelled. "This is why you've been hanging out so much? Stiles!"
"Theo!" Stiles said. "It doesn't feel good to be 'cheated' on does it? Go whine about it to Mark. I want you out of here in an hour."
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about. Get out of my house Raeken," Stiles said. "I already called Mark. And just so you know. In advance. Mark likes to take advantage of people when they're under the influence. He's a little rough. Have fun."
      "You aren't being serious! That was a one time thing, babe," Theo said. Stiles rose his eyebrows.
      "In my experience. One time things. They aren't a one time thing. I'm not putting up with it. You can find a new ride back to school as well. You have fifty five minutes. If your stuff isn't out, I will burn it. It's my property. I have every right to," Stiles said. "No one knows it's yours either. I'm just cleaning up things, before I go back to school." Theo's mouth was slightly opened.
      "You won't burn my things. And you'll regret this. Goodbye Stiles," Theo said.
      "Whatever," Stiles sighed. Isaac let him go. They went downstairs. Everyone seemed confused. Of course other than Lydia, Dean, and Cas. "Theo's gone. A cheater. Sex addict. And almost rapist."
     "Stiles caught Theo and Mark cheating. He decided to get back at him. So he and Isaac were 'caught' cheating on him. I helped," Lydia explained.
     "And the almost rapist part?" Scott asked.
     "Theo wanted sex the other night... I wasn't in the mood. And he kept going. I flipped and he got pissed off," Stiles explained.
     "I'll kill him," Scott and Dean said.
     "Are you okay?" Allison asked.
      "He's Stiles. Of course he is," Erica rolled her eyes. "Right?"
       "Yeah," Stiles said. "I'm okay."
      "Good," Jackson said. Stiles looked at him surprised. "You know you're important. Don't make me explain myself. I'll rip out your eyes."
      "Ew. Jackson. Really. That's new. I'm glad you're expanding your horizons. But, maybe don't go that far," Stiles chuckled. "I'm happy it's just us. It won't be like this for a while."
      "It will always be us. Forever," Allison smiled. "Right guys?"
        "For sure. You are my only family," Isaac said.
       "I'm not leaving. Where would I go?" Erica said.
      "We come too far to leave each other now," Jackson shrugged. "And you guys aren't as awful now."
      "Christmas is bringing us closer together," Stiles smiled. "I love you guys. Really." They all smiled and watched Theo leave. "Just us now."
     "Stiles. Come here," Peter said. "Now." Stiles got up and followed Peter into a different room. Peter shut the door. "I want you to start taking these again." He handed Stiles his old bottle of pills. "I know you don't want to... It sucks. But you need them."
     "Peter..."
     "No. I don't want an explanation. This is already giving me a headache. I told Derek of anything happened. I would make sure you are okay. And this is what I'm doing," Peter said. "God he would kill me if he knew any of that other crap had happened. I also have this." He pulled a box from the table.
    "What's this?" Stiles asked.
     "It's from Derek," Peter said. "He gave it to me to give to you. He was just going to leave it on the bed. I told him that it would be better if I gave it to you."
     "You want to know what is inside," Stiles rolled his eyes. "He was here?"
     "Yeah. He also told me to tell you that he loves you and some other long, boring details," Peter said. "Basically its take care of yourself. There's a note in there from him."
    "How long have you been in touch with him?" Stiles asked.
     "Stiles. If he were allowed to talk to you. You know he would. You know that this is the safest way of communication. There isn't another option. Besides. I hate you all. Angela wouldn't care about me," Peter said.
     "That doesn't answer my question. It just tells me a while," Stiles said still examining the box.
      "I can't tell you."
       "Then tell me... Is he not under the influence of Angela anymore?" Stiles asked.
       "He isn't being mind controlled. But, he is still doing whatever she tells him. Because, she is still threatening you," Peter said.
      "Thanks Peter," Stiles half smiled. "You have really changed. I'm happy that I can call you a friend."
      "Yeah yeah. Don't open that until Christmas morning," Peter said. "He knows tradition is your thing. And, it's gonna bother you."
     "I hate him," Stiles smiled. "I'll start taking these again." He held the pills up. Peter nodded and they left the room.
     "That was a fastest quickie ever," Jackson joked. Stiles glared at him as he placed the box under the tree.
      "You're doing the right thing," Kira said. "I know it's hard right now. But, we want you to be okay."
      "Yeah," Liam agreed.
      "Thanks guys," Stiles sighed. "I will try to keep better care of myself. And not date guys like Theo."
       "God you better. Liam and I went home. And all he talked about was hating Theo," Mason said.
"I didn't mind him," Malia shrugged.
"That's fine. Everyone has their own opinions," Stiles said. "I hate him with everything I have. But enough of that. Ethan and Aiden are coming over later to stay for Christmas. I believe Danny is coming too. We have to prepare for the dinner. Who all is coming? Lydia. Make me a list... Allison, Erica, Cas, and Peter I want you guys to decorate. We really don't have enough for this big house. Liam, Mason, Hayden, and Malia I want you guys to get rooms ready for Ethan, Aiden, and Danny. I know that Danny and Ethan will be sharing a room. But, just in case anyone else is staying. Jackson, Isaac, and Sam go shopping. Lydia will also have a list for that. Don't get anything not on the list or anything like that. I am going to start with what we have... Peter you are gonna help me cook too. Along with... Liam. Everyone else. Go clean!"
   Stiles went to the kitchen to begin preparing. He had bought stuff earlier for desserts. And, there was a few things that were already here. He sighed and took the pills out of his pocket. He took two and put them in the cupboard hiding them. Someone had began playing Christmas music and he hummed the tune as he began preparing. People had come in and out with things. It was a rushed. But, it was good. Sam, Isaac, and Jackson came in with groceries. They unloaded everything and stood in the kitchen.
   "Sam, Jackson, Kira, and Dean go decorate outside. I want lights and decorations. You guys are gonna do great," Stiles said. "Tell Liam and Peter that it's time to get their asses in here to cook."
    "What do you want me to do?" Liam asked. "I don't cook."
     "I just want your help with prep and putting in the oven. And some bonding time with my youngest wolf," Stiles explained and smiled at him. "And Peter is a great cook."
     "Oh," Liam said. "Is this like a bonding thing?"
      "Of course! Because you won't be here in the morning of Christmas. But I talked to your mom and you and Mason are free for dinner. Basically everyone else are adults. Hayden is coming. And I think the guys name is Corey? Right?" Stiles asked. Liam nodded. "Good. He will be stopping by as well. It's a very supernatural Christmas. This will be my first Christmas with all of you. And since I got back."
     "Well it will be great," Liam said.
      "Yeah. Well can we get started? I prefer not to be stuck in a kitchen," Peter said.
      "Yeah... We can start," Stiles said.
  They had started everything. Peter made a few pies and the glaze for the ham. Stiles made the side dishes which had every ones favorite dish. Not leaving one pack member out. Liam helped with the the other desserts with Stiles. He also helped add spices and whatever else. They had everything prepared and wrapped to be put back into the fridge for Christmas. They were going to make cookies tomorrow, when everyone's ready. Lydia had the list of people coming and a schedule.
Christmas Party Guests
Lydia       Jackson Deaton
Stiles       Malia
Peter       Chris
Dean       Melissa
Castiel    Sheriff Stilinski
Allison   Danny
Scott       Ethan
Sam        Aiden
Isaac       Corey
Kira        Mason
Liam       Hayden

Schedule
8 A.M: Begin Cooking
11 A.M: Liam and Mason arrive
11:30 A.M: Hayden and Corey arrive
Noon: Pack Christmas Present opening
2 P.M: Melissa, Chris, Sheriff and Deaton arrive
2:30-3ish: Dinner starts
4 P.M: Dessert
4:30 P.M: Family gifts
5:30-6:30 P.M: Family leaves
7 P.M: Pack time. Mistletoe. Movie.

The house looked amazing. Every room was decorated in Christmas things. Lights were streamed in all of the rooms. Mistletoe hung in the door ways. Fake of course. The tree stood in the main living room. It was decorated in ribbons and lights. There were no bulbs, but it still looked perfect. Stockings hung over the fire place. Lights decorated the rails to the stairs. Candles were placed every where. It felt like Christmas. Sam stood away from everyone else. They were looking around.
"Sam?"
"I'm fine. Stiles," Sam chuckled. "Christmas just really isn't my holiday."
"I understand. I just hope that... This Christmas will be better," Stiles said. "Is the outside finished yet?"
"Yeah. Dean says that no one can see it until it's dark though," Sam chuckled. "He loves this."
"I hoped everyone would," Stiles smiled. He yawned. "I'm tired."
"You should go lay down," Sam said. "You've worked a lot."
"Yeah," Isaac said. "We will wake you when they get here."
Stiles nodded and went to his room. He laid back in bed and closed his eyes. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. And he had no dreams this time. It was peaceful.