Anything But Worthless [Akakstuki no Yona Fanfic]

6. Déjà Vu

¤ Third Person ¤

She was once a girl who believed the future was a star; she believed it would remain bright, no matter how far away it was. Yet it seemed as if the star was hidden behind rain clouds that would never stop pouring. And it resembled her hazel eyes... Once sparkling with dreams and hopes, now clouded with grief and betrayal and tears that didn't seem to stop falling. Even as she slept, resting against the tree trunk, she still wept.

Hak stared at Ji-Na's figure, suddenly realizing how young she was. Less than twenty years of living... and majority of those years she was the target of everyone's hate. Subconsciously, he reached out and tucked strands of her straight, orange hair behind her ear. "Hak!" the scream seemed to echo as Ji-Na's eyes snapped open. Already tense from the recent passing of her father, she was on edge the entire night and when Yona cried out, her little sister was awakened abruptly.

"Yona-nee?!" She jumped to her feet but the sudden movement her vision blur, a throbbing pain in her head. With a hand against her forward, she tried to take a step forward but found herself unable to balance her weight, stumbling and crashing towards the floor. She felt someone's warm embrace and her tense body seemed to relax, ever so slightly, in the familiar arms of her childhood friend.

But that wasn't enough to ease the pain in her chest for the hole in her heart that could never be filled. "Hak... Yesterday..." she didn't continue, she didn't have the urge to question what had transpired the previous night. Her eyes widened when she realized something had left her grip. Pushing Hak away from her, she crashed back to the floor. Tears lining her eyes, she frantically crawled around, her first friend's smiling face appearing in her eyes. She couldn't have lost it, the last thing that connected her to him... She couldn't have...

"Ji-Na-himesama, please live." the words that echoed in her ears, the memory that wouldn't stop replaying in her head... and the left over anguish she had felt. It all resurfaced and her body reacted terribly. Shaking tremendously, tears falling uncontrollably, she let out a hollow scream, praying, begging, for God to save her from the pain she felt and the hatred she knew was circulating around her.

"Hime—" Her eyes snapped, both body and soul giving out on her. Hak's eyes snapped and he instantly grabbed her, pulling her into his embrace as she passed out. As he lowered his gaze, finally realizing the consequences of Soo-Won's betrayal. Ji-Na, whom had already faced so many years of agony, finally broke.

But how wrong he was because all those years... how many times she had broken down, no one had been told... because no one wanted to know. Living in isolation gave her chances to scream and cry to her hearts content. For a moment, she'd feel relief and she's be clouded with a false sense of happiness. But she always awakened from that dream and was left motionless, a lifeless doll. Encased in her mind were memories and illusions and only she could face them. Alone.

Breathing labored, Ji-Na remained unconscious in her friend's arms. Hak tore his gaze from the girl to see Yona's lifeless gaze. Her throat raw from screaming out and her eyes dry from crying as it dawned on her. The look Hak gave Ji-Na resembled the one Ji-Na gave Soo-Won. It was a look she never understood in the past. Within them were signs of heartbreak and a internal rift but... they always seemed to sparkle. They were always filled with a sense of hope and serenity. Yona could never understand it, why Ji-Na always gave Soo-Won... or herself... that kind but cold gaze.

But now, as she stared at Ji-Na's unconscious figure, she couldn't help but see her father. Her father laying motionless, her father's closed eyes, her father... dead. "Ji... Na..." her throat still sore from screaming for Hak, a futile act for he was focused on her frail little sister. Her sister, on the other hand, was entrapped in a land of memories.