a change of heart // phan

two

i could die hanging on the words you said

it is a mess of crystal sweat and blushing cheeks, chests flushed with warmth and security only for a moment before its all gone. i watch as phil shifts away from me and turns on his side, the pale skin of his chest dotted with seventeen freckles--i counted.

"what did you want to talk about?" i ask him, and once he looks up at me, my whole being is drowned in the twinkling nebulae of his eyes--i'm just a burned out star in comparison to him. he is my entire galaxy, the stars that shine on my worst days and the sunshine that keeps me alive. he is the reason my lungs still hold the flowers inside, small little tulips tickling my heart whenever he is near me.

he is my oxygen.

"it can wait," he says with half a smile, and the tulips in my lungs frown a little when i notice just how half hearted the gesture is. i don't answer him, i just take the opportunity to weave my fingers through the front of his dark hair, pushing the midnight away from his forehead to reveal a clear winter landscape.

i will never get tired of saying how beautiful he is.

the bruising pink blush on his cheeks remind me of the wild musk roses that grow in the british forests, the same ones which i have plucked several of times and given it to him, only to make their colour a little brighter once his fingertips touch the green stem. it's not only the flowers that he beautifies once he touches them--it's almost the same with me.

my skin inflames, my cheeks grow pinker, my irises reflect the light of all the brightness within him. my heart beats just a little faster, and my lungs expand just a little, and the tiny tulips within me blossom so intricately it makes it harder to breathe.

"it's okay, we can talk right now," i say, the tip of my finger cascading down his cheek and across his lips and resting gently on his collar bone and i watch as his eyes follow my movements. the sigh that leaves his lips is too soft to even register, and before i know he shifts a little towards me and drapes his left arm loosely around my naked waist.

my skin glows.

"okay," he whispers and presses his lips gently against my own, they are inexplicably soft against my mouth, so light i can barely feel it and for a moment i forget that i am actually there. i'm lost in him again, the galaxy named phil lester dissolves me whole and i love it.

i am so ridiculously in love with him.

his lips leave mine and he buries his head in my shoulder, my fingers involuntarily reaching up to untangle the night atop his head, fingertips disappearing into the endless sky.

"i need a break,"

"from what?"

"everything,"

and then the tulips wilt.

--
thank u for 1k already !
wtf i love u guys so much