a change of heart // phan

seven

finding a girl who is equally pretty won't be hard

it's been two weeks since i've heard the  articulate suffocation of his voice, two weeks since i've seen the broken parts of me in someone else's eyes, two weeks since i've felt the storm of guilt encase my lungs and stop me from breathing and two weeks since i've felt trapped behind screens and behind a certain brown haired boy who used to be my life.

he's bitter in my thoughts, much like the whisky that dissolves on my tongue in suggestive intoxication, but unlike him, this is the bitterness i welcome. honey eyes have turned into raw coffee beans and champagne skin that bubbled on my tongue has turned into bile that burns my throat and his affection is just another scenario of desperation.

getting over his morning voice was easier than kissing him meaninglessly, and despising him was easier than falling in love. i had never realised how truly toxic he was to me—always masking my personality behind his loud humour and always taking credit for my success and always trying to make me into someone i'm not. he was lovely, at a point of time he was, but the screens we kissed behind were tainted with throttle, and the platonic relationship we pretended to have in front of millions was another heartbreak altogether.

"watch it!" a slight push against my shoulder makes me lose my balance just enough to spill my drink over my fingers, and i scowl sourly, my eyes searching for the source of disruption and stopping their hunt once they land on someone. . .alluringly beautiful.

the girl in front of me mirrors my scowl, but the usual bleak and desolate grey colour is given a whole another meaning once it's scintillating in her eyes, the ashen colour intoxicating me more than this glass of whisky ever could. her glossed lips are flushed with a bubblegum pink, the feverish tint making appearance again above her sharp cheekbones and just for that extra need of tartness, a black ring is looped around her pretty mouth.

"what are you staring at?" her voice is scathing, petulant, bitter—but oh god if i couldn't hear it everyday on repeat.

"you," i answer blatantly, and the salmon colour that stains her cheeks makes me want to wrap my fingers in her chestnut hair and press my ardent mouth against hers.

"shut up," she rolls her slate-grey eyes, and i smile at her, reaching out and letting my fingers find her hand. she doesn't protest, so i lean in towards the shell of her earring-covered ear, pushing her copper hair away and the shaky breath that leaves her mouth makes me want to press my lips against her olive skin until she's whimpering my name.

"can i buy you a drink?" i whisper softly, and her long, silver decorated fingers tighten their grip on my hand. she nods her head in a silent craving and i let my lips lift into a smirk, keeping my eyes on her as i order her something that is far less exhilarating than she is.

twenty minutes later i'm pushing her against a brick wall, her beige skin ruined with trivial scratches from the rough surface as i let myself taste the syrupy potency of her mouth, her velvet lips slotting immaculately against mine. my fingertips alternate between denting the perfect curve of her lips and tangling into the liquid mahogany of her hair, and she mewls softly, the sound dissolving like honey on my skin.

and the entirety of my soul is so lost in the compelling sweetness of her mouth that i barely notice the lack of oxygen in my lungs, the pounding of my chest and my phone buzzing silently in my pocket.

bear💕: it's getting really hard without you. when will this be over? when will you be home?

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oof here we go
i hope u liked this chapter!! pls vote if u did :)

also happy birthday to the one & only laddy daddy lester<3