1962 ── lily evans

THIRTEEN

THIRTEEN

LENNON JOLTED awake, feeling her head propped up against something almost solid. She took a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness that surrounded her. A dim lamp settling in the corner of the room provided her little help, and fumbling with her memory, she deciphered that she was still laying on Sirius' chest in the middle of the living room. The clock, pinned against the yellow wallpaper, depicted the time: two forty-six.

Presumably, she'd moved more than she had thought, as moments later, Sirius woke too, squinting as he tried to establish what was happening. His hand, still cradling her back, lifted to swipe furiously at his eyes, an attempt at waking up faster.

"Len? You're awake?" he asked, shuffling along the couch to sit up straighter.

"Yeah. Sorry for waking you. I didn't mean to." 

She gnawed thoughtfully on her bottom lip as she spoke, moving out of Sirius' arms and over to the other side of the couch. He watched her go, and she lifted her knees up beneath her chin, cradling herself like a child.

"You're alright," he mumbled lowly, a contented dimple denting his cheek, which had become littered with stubble from an assumed lack of shaving. "Something on your mind?"

She sighed aloud - the something on her mind was more than she was perhaps ready to get into.  She shook her head, hoping to portray that she was beyond confused. Never before had she felt so conflicted, and despite the fact her imminent problem was the spat with her mother, she still found the image of a certain redhead invading her mind and refusing to leave.

"I'll get us some more tea. Then we can settle down and talk, okay?" He stood from the seat, stretching out slightly in an attempt to recover from the cramped position he'd been stuck in for the past few hours.

He returned after a few minutes with a steaming mug in either hand, and passed one cautiously to the smaller brunette that sat across from him. Grateful, she grasped it between her fingertips and took a sip gingerly, careful not to burn her tongue on the scalding liquid.

"So, what's on your mind, love?" he asked, sipping at his own as he leant against the dark fabric of the couch.

"Have you ever liked a guy?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him as she hid behind the rim of her mug.

Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat, and a sharp pang of anxiety shivered up his spine. Had she caught on? Of all the things that could have been bothering her, surely she wasn't bothered that he was gay?

"I- What do you mean, Lennon? Are you asking if I'm gay?" he questioned, attempting helplessly to remain impartial to her question.

"Gay? Is that what it means when two guys like each other? Or girls?" She was clueless - never before had she encountered something like that, never had it even been brought up in conversation in her entire seventeen years of life.

Sirius cleared his throat, fidgeting awkwardly as he searched desperately for a plan of action. Uncertainty riddled him as he questioned whether or not the time was right to expose himself - and Remus, for that matter.

"It does mean that. Yeah." He nodded, hiding the blush creeping onto his face behind his cup as he took a hefty sip of the still-too-hot tea.