Her Hidden Half (War Songs of the Courts #1)

Chapter Twenty-three

I stood at the entrance of the training room, hesitating to step in it as I fisted my hand over my shirt in an attempt to calm the nerves that hollowed out a pit in my stomach.

I had made up a bullshit excuse and awkwardly left my room in a rush when the uncomfortable silence and worried stares from Alec got to me. Part of me was relieved at his silence because I wouldn't even know what to say if he had asked me the questions I saw racking his brain. The other part of me was worried because Alec wasn't one to just let things go. It was just a waiting game now as to when he'd ask or demand answers.

I tucked all the hurt I felt since last night into a hidden corner, only to be seen by me at a later time as I carefully crafted a mask of normalcy. Well, my normal. Which meant a lot of sarcasm and snark mixed with some defensiveness. I let it seep into my skin like a permanent disguise as I took a step into the lion's den.

Kieran held his back to me and continued to work with the weapons even as I made my presence known.

"So, what kind of torture am I enduring today?" I asked lightly as I slid atop the stacked mats.

He remained silent and I noted the strain in his shoulders.

"Kieran?"

"There's no training today," he said in a distant voice.

"Alaisdair said training would start up again today if I was feeling up to it. I'm feeling up to it. Plus, I was thinking you could teach me how to actually do something useful this time. You know, like the badass shit you do."

He rolled his shoulders in irritation and growled, "Training is cancelled, Echo."

"Well, I'm not leaving," I said with a stubborn tilt to my chin.

"Damn it, Echo. Leave!" He roared angrily as he slammed a knife into the table in front of him.

I startled slightly but held my ground. "I'll leave when you look at me."

Silence made the space between us tense and I eyed the hand that was clenched over the handle of the knife, something about the image feeling wrong to me.

I tore my eyes from it and focused on the back of his head. "Why are you avoiding looking at me?" I asked in a challenge.

"I'm not," he denied.

I hopped off the mats and walked closer to him, stopping just a few inches away from his back. "Prove it. Look at me."

He hesitated before turning around in short restricted movements, as if he was forcing his body to do something that his muscles objected to. His gaze stuck to the wall on the other side of the room until he eventually forced his eyes to meet mine. As if of their own accord, his eyes turned to my neck where the already fully healed scar blemished my skin. He scowled and looked away from me entirely, his features twisted into a bitter expression.

"Really? I get bit and you can't even look at me?" I asked in a voice that told him I thought he was being ridiculous.

"Don't," he warned.

"Why not? It's a bite, not a death sentence," I said, knowing I was pushing him in a way I didn't entirely understand and not caring in the least.

His eyes flared and he finally looked me in the eyes. "You're okay with this, then?"

"I wouldn't say okay, but I'm not crying over it," I said with a shrug.

Something cold flashed in his eyes but it was gone so quickly that I was unsure if I actually saw it.

"He claimed you, Echo. You're his. Your scent is tainted by his. Your neck is marred by him. How do you expect me to be in the same room as you when I can barely even look at you without wanting to tear someone's head off?" He moved closer to me as he spoke and his voice got heavier with emotion.

I felt a spark of anger at his words and took a step closer, closing the distance to poke his chest indignantly. "First of all, I am no one's. I'm not sure if y'all got the memo or not, but this is the twenty first fucking century. No one owns me. Second of all, I expect it because it's the only way I'll learn to protect myself. I expect it because I was attacked and I was useless to stop it. Because I need your help, Kieran."

I was testing him; almost blatantly so. I held my breath and searched his gaze with mine, willing him to prove Demetrius wrong. Prove he wouldn't knowingly leave me defenseless. That he was here to train me and help keep me safe, not to manage me until I inevitably die.

"You expect too much."

I felt my heart squeeze in pain and I reprimanded it for hoping for things it couldn't have. My heart longed for a place to call home with people it could love and trust, but I knew better. That didn't exist. People would lie to your face and betray you to get what they wanted. This wasn't news to me or my heart but it still managed to hurt nonetheless. I took in a long breath and let the numbing cold encompass my heart to rid me of the awful emotions that threatened to surface, accepting the reality of the situation.

"I can see that."

I turned to leave before I could let on that something was wrong but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back with a force that had me pressed against him. He cupped my face with his free hand and smashed his mouth against mine. Everything about it felt wrong, and I knew that anything I might have let myself feel before had evaporated the moment I knew he was lying to me. His mouth devoured mine in a way that should have left me panting with want but instead left a sharp cold feeling in my chest. The hands holding me to him made me want to recoil with the need to escape his touch. I tried to push him back in a signal to stop but he only responded with a tighter hold that felt frantic. I twisted my head away from his mouth and pushed on his shoulders, becoming panicked.

"Kieran, stop."

"I can fix it, Echo. I could claim you as mine. I can fix this," he said, watching me with imploring eyes.

It was all off. He was far too eager and it set off a warning in my head. I didn't know what angle he was playing, but I knew there was one. Shifters took this claiming shit too seriously for him to be offering it up on a plate to someone he barely knew.

Rage shook me to my core, knowing he was trying to manipulate and use me, and I calmly controlled it as best I could. "Get off me. Now," I said, my voice hard.

"Echo," he said, surprise flashing in his eyes along with something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"Now, Kieran," I growled as my hands started to shake.

"Babe," he said, putting on a soothing voice but not making any move to release his hold on me.

All safety I had felt around him had disappeared. The way he was acting reminded me too much of the men in my past and it left me feeling cornered and panicked.

I pulled a knife from the table and I lashed out in a way I never thought would. I put my entire body behind the force as I shoved the shiny weapon into his stomach. His hold on me loosened as disbelief crossed his face through the pain. I coldly returned his gaze as I felt a warm wetness slick my hand. I stumbled backwards numbly, taking the knife with me before it slid from my loose grasp. I watched him blankly for a few heartbeats and walked out of the room without looking back.

Alaisdair sat at the entrance with his hand sitting on the knife that sat on his hip, as if he was preparing to use it before deciding otherwise. He searched my gaze as I passed him but I didn't bother to assure him I was fine.

I didn't trust anyone right now.

I had been letting the strangers around me do my thinking and putting trust in people I didn't know because I was in uncharted territory, but I was officially done. Maybe I forgot for a second there, but I'd never been one to blindly trust anyone. I'd been alone my entire life and I'd managed to survive this long. I was more than capable of taking care of myself; I just needed to start making decision like it again.

I limply wiped the blood that stained my hand on my workout pants, refusing to even look down at the evidence that I actually stabbed a man. I continued to walk down the hallway with Alaisdair trailing behind me and Demetrius's words running through my mind on a loop.

If they know what you are then they want something from you.