His Worst Behavior

Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - I DON'T WANT TO LIVE FOREVER

There were stages.

You know, like there are stages for grief.

I did wake up, much to my disappoint, and I felt empty. I think the shock of it all was causing me to not feel anything at all - and I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a blessing. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't leave the bed unless I absolutely had to. I stared at the wall in silence, almost waiting for my body to give up, because God knew I had no hope left.

The next stage was when I felt everything. Anger, sadness, helpless, confusion, dread. I was a ball of emotion, crying and destroying things wherever I went. One minute, I was angry and the next, I was bawling my eyes out. I remember pleading for the emptiness, the numbness, to come back, but it didn't. 

The stage after that was the worst. This stage was complete and utter depression. It hit me as hard and as fast as a cement block falling onto me. It was so overwhelming and it was so painful that I couldn't take it anymore. 

I crawled out the bedroom window and I climbed up the stack of logs against the house and onto the roof. 

On my feet, I looked out at the trees, momentarily feeling invincible. Because for once, I had control of what happened next. I was in control of this very moment.

But, this wasn't my end. This is not where I die. 

I made the step to topple off that roof and fall to the ground, but Maurice had alerted Roarke in his office about what was happening. He came running outside, his shoulders stiff. He slowly moved forward until stopping in the grassy area below me. 

"Chloe."

I flinched at the sound of my name.

Then, I cracked a sad grin. "You're going to catch me."

"Yes."

My hand came up, lightly touching my injured neck. The bite mark still stung whenever I touched it. It was just a reminder of what was to come. "I don't want this."

"I know," Roarke said, softly. "But, you don't get to leave me." My bottom lip started to quiver as more tears pooled from my eyes. He noticed the hesitation, the need for peace, on my face and he quickly spoke up, "What's your favorite food?"

I was startled by his question. 

"Tell me your favorite food."

"Why?"

"Because, I still have so much to learn about you," he responded, shaking his head. "And, I thought that we had this silent agreement that you would give me time, so I can know you better." The moment in the bathroom came to my mind, shortly after the first attack. "So, I can figure out how to make you happy."

"You can make me happy by letting me go," I told him, before glancing at the awaiting ground. "Or, letting me fall."

There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes. "I can't let you go. You're going to be enduring your first transition any day now. You're going to need me - without me, it will be extremely painful and you will most likely hurt somebody. You don't want that, do you?"

"You're right," I murmured, stepping backwards. "It's decided then."

Instead of falling forward, right to where he was standing, I abruptly fell backwards off the other side of the roof. There was a brief moment of my stomach knotting and a weightless feeling rushing through me. 

Roarke was fast - I should've expected him catching me, no matter where I fell. When I landed in his arms, his relief was instantly replaced by rage. "Stop this!"