His Worst Behavior

Chapter Thirty

CHAPTER THIRTY - THE GRASS IS GREEN

Things were going well with Roarke.

We had a routine - he stayed later in the morning, eating breakfast with me, to help limit the amount of time alone I had with Maurice. She still had a grudge against me, but she hadn't poisoned any of my food.

Then, he left for a couple of hours, to shift and to follow up with his pack members who were less on-guard with Julius dead and their enemies too scared to come. I stayed at the house in the meantime and sometimes Josephine visited. It was awkward with what happened in the past, or more specifically, Scarlett. She missed her, but she felt betrayed that Scarlett had left, not ever once saying anything to her.

Roarke returned in the late afternoon and unless a problem arose, he stayed with me for the rest of the day. Giving me more time was something he had been working on. Before, I hardly ever saw him, hardly ever established a connection with him, and he was realizing time together was strengthening the bond between us.

Dr. Burnett had visited a couple times, impressed by my improving health. She could tell that my mental health was better, not perfect, but better. I had gained a healthy amount of weight and any wounds that I once had were healed. When asking me personal questions, such as my thoughts and feelings, she was pleased to inform me that the bond between me and Roarke had intensified.

My feelings for Roarke didn't seem to change much. Like always, I cared about him, maybe a little more, but I didn't love him. I knew love, and this wasn't it. Maybe in time, Dr. Burnett had told me.

Dr. Burnett also suggested meditating and reading self-help books, which she provided for me, to keep my mental health on the path to happiness. Both worked - I read the self-help books when Roarke was gone, busy with his pack, and I usually meditated around the time he came back.

"What are you thinking?" Roarke murmured, seated on the couch. I was on the floor, deeply breathing in and out of my nose, my eyes closed.

I peeked at him. "This doesn't work if you talk to me."

"Why not?"

"I'm concentrating," I responded, trying to regain focus. "You're distracting me." In a few seconds, I temporarily forgot the past, all the bad stuff that happened to me, and I focused on the idea of peace and happiness. I was interrupted by Roarke's irritated, bored grunt, announcing that he was still there. I sighed, then said, "Why don't you join me?"

He seemed spooked by the invitation. "I don't - "

"Come here," I insisted, extending a hand. His dark eyes softened at me, before he grabbed my hand and flopped down on the floor in front of me. "Okay, sit like I am - and rest your elbows on your knees."

I watched as he struggled to find a comfortable position. He was such a large, muscled man with little flexibility. When he found the most comfortable position for himself, his ankles crossed very far in front of him, he placed his large elbows on his kneecaps. "Now what?"

"Close your eyes," I said, closing my own. "And, forget all the stress and bad energy. Just imagine peace and think good thoughts."

He huffed.

A moment of silence drifted between us.

"Now what?"

"You just keep doing that," I responded, quietly. "Breathe deeply. Calm your mind and your body."

I heard him shift on the carpet. "This isn't working."

"Are you thinking good thoughts?" I asked, questionably.

"I'm thinking about you," he told me, causing my heart to warm. I could feel the bond was happy between us. "And, you're sitting right in front of me and I just want to touch you - I can't touch you, can I?"

I shook my head with a smile.

A devious look appeared on his face, before he reached forward and grabbed my wrists. He tugged me into his lap, securely wrapping an arm around my waist. I tensed when he dipped his face into the crook of my neck, right over his mark, taking a deep inhale of me. "You've always smelled so good, like raspberries."

"Raspberries?"

"On a summer day," he muttered, a lightness to his eyes. "Your scent is easy to catch." There was a satisfied rumble from his chest as he shifted me in his lap. "Do you know what they're saying about me these days?"

I tilted my head. "Who?"

"Everybody."

"What are they saying?"

"They're saying I'm the deadliest creature on the Earth," Roarke informed me, seeming quite pleased. "Humans are avoiding my territory. No one wants to challenge me for my position. I have other Alphas wanting to create alliances with me now." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, pressing his forehead against mine. "And, you, guess what they're saying about you."

My whole body froze. "I'm being talked about?"

"Yes," he whispered, currently fascinated with my eyes. "You have a reputation, like me." I was suddenly worried as I didn't want a bad reputation. I didn't want to be feared. I wanted to be invisible, just Chloe Mars.

"Oh," was my first response, trying not to seem bothered.

"It shouldn't be surprising that you have a reputation, little one," Roarke said, softly shaking his head. "Look at your position, look at what has happened. Because of Weylyn Norwood, the whole supernatural community knows of our history. He can't keep his mouth shut."

"And, what are they saying about me?"

"They're saying you're iconic," he breathed, touching my pale cheek. "That my pack will go far with you as its Alpha Female."

That wasn't too bad. "That's cool."

I was taken by surprise when he kissed me, his hand at the back of my neck, prohibiting me from pulling away. "It's great."

"I should get back to meditating," I told him, quietly. He seemed disappointed, but he allowed me to crawl out of his lap and back to my spot. I returned to my position and closed my eyes, returning to a state of peace and bliss. He was watching me, admiring me, but I pretended he wasn't there.

At the moment, I was focused on myself.

I didn't care what was happening with Scarlett, Rudy, or Weylyn. I didn't care what people were saying about me. I didn't care what people thought about me. I was focused on myself, on improving me, on being healthy. I needed to stop caring so much about what other people thought was best for me - I needed to do what I thought was best for me.

When I finished meditating, I opened my eyes to find Roarke staring at me. "You're beautiful."

I rolled my eyes. "I haven't showered."

"Well, lets go shower then."

"I will go shower," I corrected, rising to my feet. He rose to his, towering over me as usual. I took a step backwards, placing my hands on my hips. "Step aside."

"Shower with me," he mumbled, grabbing me by my waist. "I will be on my best behavior, I promise."

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh."

"I've gotten better, haven't I?"

It was true. I stared him down a minute, contemplating.

"Fine," I caved, sticking out my chin. "But, just showering."

He nodded once.

We ended up passionately making-out underneath the spray of warm water, continuously changing positions to somehow get closer to each other, the bond more happy than ever.