His Worst Behavior

Chapter Twenty-Eight

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - COME ON MESS ME UP

Even without the bond to Julius, I fell into depression.

Not only was the experience of shifting over and over again traumatizing, but Roarke had marked me. He created a bond, one that seemed much stronger than the one I had with Julius. The bond trapped me to Roarke - unless I wanted to experience breaking a bond again, while also somehow convincing Roarke to help me do it, I was stuck with him.

He had me. He had defeated me.

I had no fight left.

What was I supposed to do? What would you do?

Suicidal thoughts entered my mind frequently. There was a new mirror in the bathroom. I could've smashed it and used a shard to cut my throat. There were cleaning supplies under the sink. I could've drank bleach. There were knives in the kitchen. I could've stabbed myself. There were stairs leading to the basement. I could've just fallen down them.

Instead, while these thoughts circled in my mind, I remained in bed. I stayed curled up, staring at absolutely nothing, wondering how my life went so wrong. It was one thing after the other - just when I thought that I was getting to freedom, I was pulled back to darkness. I was naive to think there would ever be freedom for me after I met Roarke Farkas.

Two weeks after being marked, Roarke came into the bedroom.

He lingered near the door. "You need to eat."

Starvation. Another way to kill myself.

"Go away," I said, staring at the bare wall. My cheek rested comfortably on the pillow and a blanket stretched across my body. The only source of light in the bedroom came from the small lamp on the nightstand. I was so used to darkness that I was liking it. Just how lost was I becoming?

"I feel your anger through our bond," he said, watching me. That was another thing about the bond - no privacy. I couldn't feel anything without Roarke knowing. However, I was able to feel everything he felt and in this moment, he was concerned. "I created the bond for your safety."

"No, your wolf was angry at me," I responded, flatly. "This has nothing to do with safety. This has everything to do with your possessive, territorial - "

"Chloe," he interrupted, taking a deep breath. My entire body tensed when he began approaching the bed. "My enemies have learned about you. I have received threats and after what happened with Julius Monclaw - when he attacked you and I wasn't here to protect you, I can't take risks when it comes to you. I care too much."

I didn't respond.

"With the bond, I will be able to feel if something is wrong," Roarke continued, stopping at the end of the bed. "It will make it easier for me to protect you."

"I don't want your protection," I said, finally looking at him. His dark eyes were swarming with concern and hope for understanding. "Bad things keep happening to me, ever since I met you. I am tired, Roarke. I'm tired of fighting against this awful, twisted fate that I have. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to do anything."

He pinched his lips together. "You don't have to fight me."

"I do," I retorted, sighing in exhaustion. "I mean, I should, but I keep losing against you." He tried to sit on the bed, but I purposely moved my legs to prevent him from doing so. "You win, Roarke. You win."

"I don't want to win."

"Then, what do you want?" I asked, frowning. "And, don't say a happy life with me. That's not going to happen."