A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 3

Shannon

Shannon looked at the ivory embossed 'save the date' card and scowled putting it down on her dressing table. No way in hell was she going to Joe's wedding! She took off her Delta airlines uniform and headed to the shower, she always felt exceptionally grubby after a day at work. She'd always imagined that being an air hostess would be glamorous but nowadays she felt like nothing more than a glorified waitress, and the recirculated air played havoc with her skin. Not that she complained, she preferred to play up the glamorous image.

In the shower she applied a thick conditioner to her colour treated hair, trying to keep it in some sort of reasonable condition. Over the years she'd had more and more blonde highlights put in she'd almost forgotten she'd ever been a brunette, or mousy brown as she called it.

Idly she wondered what Joe's fiancee looked like, she'd put money on her having dark hair. She couldn't help thinking men dated blondes and married brunettes, that had been her experience anyway. She was going to look like such a loser turning up at his wedding alone, somehow she'd have to get out of it. What was he thinking of inviting her in the first place? No one invited their ex to their wedding. Did the Coopers think they were British royalty or something?

She got out of the shower and was drying herself off when she heard a text come through on her phone. She opened the message from her mother and felt even more despondent as she read the contents.

'Hi, Sweetie have you got your invite to Joey's wedding? I thought we could all go together. You've got plenty of notice so I'm sure you'll be able to get the day off.' Oh, she could see what her mom was doing there alright! She was getting it in first that she should request a holiday, unfortunately, her mom knew her all too well. A second text came through.

'And Margaret's holding an engagement party on the 16th for Joey. I've checked your schedule and you're not working.'

Great, it was getting better and better, Shannon thought. At least with the wedding, she'd have some time to psych herself up but this engagement party was in two weeks. She'd better get an appointment with her hairdresser, if she had to go she was going to make damned sure she looked her best.

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'Kelly you're a lifesaver fitting me in like this,' Shannon gushed to her old friend Kelly who had a salon in town.

'What are friends for,' she said. 'But you owe me, I wanna hear all the juicy details from the party.' Mrs Cooper's parties were known for being big events and she was bound to pull out all the stops for her youngest son's engagement.

'Hopefully, there won't be drama,' Shannon said a little more seriously as she slipped her arms into the protective cape.

'You're not worried about seeing Joey again are you?' Kelly asked.

Shannon dropped her head so Kelly could comb her hair, glad she couldn't see her face. 'I'm totally worried. It's been ages since I've seen him, and we never really cleared the air after we split up so it's bound to be awkward.' She briefly remembered a stilted conversation they'd had in a nightclub not long after she'd graduated from college. Fortunately, the place was heaving and they'd only had to exchange the briefest of pleasantries.

'At least you dumped him' Kelly said with a laugh. 'You'll kinda have the upper hand since you're not going as some reject ex-girlfriend.'

'Yeah but I'd imagine a lot of his friends hate me because of that, you know how everyone one always loved him,' Shannon said letting out a deep sigh. 'Me dumping him would have been about as popular as kicking a puppy!'

'Why did you dump him?'

'Cos I was away at college and there were loads of really fit guys that I wanted to date,' Shannon joked before continuing more seriously. 'I was too young to be in a serious relationship, especially long-distance. And Joey was all sorta serious and grown-up, it was kinda boring. All my new friends were out having fun and I couldn't join in, not in the same way.' She bit her lip thinking she sounded like a total flake.

'There's nothing wrong with that, you were young and people move on,' Kelly said.

'I know but I handled it badly,' Shannon admitted with a pang. 'Like when I came home for that first Christmas I knew it wasn't working out. I felt distant from Joey and I should have told him then, or at least given him the heads up that something had changed. But I didn't, I went back to college and I ignored his calls and messages until I got up the nerve to finally tell him.'

'That's shit Shan,' Kelly said. 'Especially when you think how close you'd been.'

Shannon cringed. 'I know. I'm not proud of it and it's why I really don't want to see him. I feel like I should apologise but I can hardly rake over old ground when he's about to get married, it wouldn't be right.'

'You don't still have feelings for him do you?' Kelly asked her eyebrows furrowed.

'No of course not...' Shannon said drifting off. 'Well not exactly, I mean he was the first everything if you know what I mean, so I guess I'll always have an affection for him but it's no more than that.'

Kelly laughed. 'An affection? I've heard it called some things but not that.'

'I don't care about him in the way you mean. I wish him well and I'm sorry I ended it the way I did. And I'm even sorrier my plans to meet a rich Arab didn't work out!' She laughed and Kelly laughed with her. It had been a long-running joke that she'd got her first job with Qatar airways purely to find a wealthy husband. In a way, it wasn't that far from the truth.

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