A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 26

Joe sat in his car in the small parking lot outside of East Boston Public library waiting for Katherine to finish work. Normally he wouldn't pick her up since they had varying schedules but she'd insisted they should arrive for their counselling session together. He suspected she was worried he'd flake out on her otherwise.

He looked at his phone as he idled the time away, and felt his frustration grow that Shannon hadn't been in touch. He's sent her a few messages, nothing too heavy, just the odd 'thinking of you' and when that had elicited no response he'd tried to be straight with her.

Shannon bear with me. I've told Kat everything. It's only a matter of time before she realises we're over, it's just taking a while to sink in. I don't want to hurt her more than I have to. Please be patient. Thinking of you babe xoxo

And there was still no response.

He felt his frustration turning to anger, Shannon was being completely unreasonable to freeze him out like this. He was putting himself on the line for her, and she wasn't being remotely supportive. Impulsively he hit the call button by her name.

'Hello,' she said just as he was about to give up hope of her answering.

'Shannon it's me.' There was silence on the line and he could hear the sound of loud voices around her. She was probably in a shopping mall. 'Shannon are you there?'

'I'm heading into work,' she said, and he could barely hear her over a tannoy announcement.

'Shannon we need to talk, I have to see you. I'm trying to sort things out with Kat, we're virtually over-'

'But you're not, are you?' she snapped.

'We almost are! As far as I'm concerned it's over but Katherine's having a hard time accepting it.' He loosened the tie around his neck suddenly finding it too constrictive.

He heard Shannon make an inaudible noise before she spoke again. 'Joe have you tried saying the words "Katherine it's over", I think she'd get that.'

Joe groaned, letting some of his frustration out. 'You just want me to tear her heart out,' he said not attempting to hide his annoyance. 'How can you be so cold?'

'I'm cold?' she spluttered. 'Why are you putting this all on me? She's your fiancee.'

'Look I'm sorry, but you don't know the pressure I'm under. I'm trying to do the right thing here.'

Shannon scoffed. 'Maybe you should have thought about that earlier. Donnie's right, you want to have your cake and eat it.'

His hackles went up. 'Donnie? What's he got to do with this?'

There was a long pause and he thought she wasn't going to speak but then she cleared her throat. 'Donnie simply pointed out I could end up wasting years of my life on you. And he's right. You haven't finished with Katherine and I don't think you are going to.'

'That's not true,' he said trying to sound resolute.

'Actually, it is,' she said cutting off his fresh protestations. 'Goodbye Joe.' She hung up before he could object any further and he threw his phone down onto the seat next to him, slamming his hand against the steering wheel. She was being absolutely impossible. Surely she could understand it wasn't that simple to end a relationship, an engagement when the other person didn't want to do so. Would she really think better of him if he just callously broke Kat's heart?

~~~

Katherine reached for Joe's hand as the counsellor called them into her office. She was grateful he didn't pull away although his grip felt weak, he was probably feeling as awkward as she was now they were here.