A Sense of Guilt ✔

Chapter 35

Katherine sat in the living room with the TV muted as she stared at her phone. Over the past two hours, she'd made nine calls to Joe and all of them had gone unanswered. Only an idiot would think he wasn't ignoring her. But then only an idiot would call him. She knew where he was, who he was with.

Only an idiot would continue to humiliate herself in this way.

She sat in silent contemplation, asking herself why she was still trying to make their relationship work. Obviously, she loved him but she never saw herself as the sort of person who could turn a blind eye to her partner's cheating. A year ago she would have insisted she'd have walked out with no regrets, now she wondered how she could have been so firm in her beliefs.

The doorbell rang and she groaned wrapping her arms around herself. The only person she wanted to be with was Joe, she certainly wasn't in the mood for company. She sat in silence, hoping whoever it was would go away but after another minute the bell sounded again, and wearily she got up thinking it might be something important.

'Hey Katie, is Joe home?' Donnie asked and her cheeks heated up as she remembered the text she'd sent him. The text she had yet to apologise for sending.

She opened the door fully and gestured for Donnie to come inside. 'Joe's gone out, no prizes for guessing where he's gone.'

Donnie frowned slightly. 'I'm sure I wouldn't know,' he said his voice lacking conviction.

Katherine scoffed. 'You don't need to spare my feelings, he's with her obviously. I'm almost surprised your paths didn't cross.' The thought made her feel nauseous.

Donnie shook his head. 'I took Shannon home last night, that's all. Someone had to get her out of that club before Danielle or Kelly pulled some sorta stunt.'

'Well aren't you the knight in shining armour,' Katherine said her voice dripping with sarcasm.

'I should go,' Donnie said turning back towards the door. 'Tell Joe I stopped by.'

'No wait.' Katherine reached her hand out and then pulled it back folding her arms. 'Don't go, I didn't mean to sound so ratty. I've got a raging hangover.'

Donnie raised an eyebrow. 'That's all.'

'How about I'm totally pissed, does that sound better?' she asked as he followed her through to the kitchen.

'I guess it depends on who you're pissed at.'

'Well obviously Joe,' she said trying not to sound sarcastic as she put the kettle on. 'He's gone to see Shannon-'

'He told you that?'

Katherine shook her head. 'No he didn't, but I know him well enough to know that's where he's gone. He didn't even try and hide it.' She let out a sigh. 'Is that a good thing or a bad thing?'

'I think it's pretty appalling,' Donnie said deadpan. 'And you're remarkably calm for somebody who says she's pissed off.'

Katherine switched the kettle off as it began to boil welcoming the minor distraction. 'I'm not calm, not at all. I guess I'm programmed not to scream and have tantrums that's all, if I thought it would make me feel better I'd be smashing plates right about now.'

Donnie held out a plate to her. 'Have you ever tried it?'

Katherine took the plate and placed it back down with a weary smile. 'No, my mom was always the plate thrower when I was growing up. Being an actress and all I think she liked to play up to the theatrical side of her personality. That's not my way.'

'Sometimes it's good to let off some steam, you should be angry Katie.'

'I am,' she insisted. 'But I need to hold it together. If I start screaming and shouting, losing control, well I don't know if I'll be able to get myself back under control. And what good would that do me? It would push Joe even further away.'