TW: character death
I've always hated hospitals. The smell, the feel, and the white cleanliness. I just don't like them.
But despite not liking them I still come every week to bring him here for his treatment.
He always asks why I do this but it's the least I can do for him, because he have given me so much joy since I have met him. He helped we so much. I don't want to let go of him, even if I will have to soon, I want him to live with me for as long as is possible for him.
Its not fair.
Why does the love of my life, the one person who keeps me sane, have to be slowly dying of a horrible disease, that has no known cure, and suffering everyday because of it.
But life's not fair.
It can, and will, tear yours and others lives apart in an instant without having any reason to do so.
There was no reason to why he got lung cancer, he was perfectly fine and healthy, so why did he? Why?
I felt a tug at my sleeve and looked over to see my beautiful boyfriend looking up at me.
We were both cuddled up on the sofa together, sharing a blanket between us. He was curled up in my lap with his head resting on my chest, his hands playing with a loose string on the blanket.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"It's nothing, Youngjae. Don't worry about it." I said.
"Are you sure? You looked like you were in deep thought. That never happens!"
"Hey!" I exclaimed.
"What? It's true!" He said back.
In one swift movement I had pinned him down on the sofa so he was under me, with his back pressed against it.
I then began tickling him and his loud laughter filled the apartment. But that soon stopped as he began coughing. I instantly stopped.
I helped him sit back up again and stop coughing, getting him a glass of water once I knew he was okay.
"I'm sorry." I apologised once I had sat down next to him.
"It's okay. I'm fine, no harm was done." He replyed.
There was a moment's silence between us.
"For a minute I forgot that I'm dying, it felt like everything was okay, everything was normal again." Youngjae said quietly.
"Don't say that, please. You will make it through, I know you will." I practically begged him.
The next day was Youngjae's weekly hospital appointment and the pair were sat in his doctors office.
"Dr. Kim, why are we in here? Usually after my treatment and checkup I go straight home." Youngjae asked his doctor.
"Well, I decided we needed to talk for a bit after your checkup today, about some of your results." He replied to the younger.
I grabbed Youngjae's hand and laced our fingers together when we heard that. Youngjae was going to start biting his nails, a habit he had when he was nervous.
"I'm just going to say it how it is. The tumour is getting worse, and if we don't do anything about it then there is a risk it will start spreading."
"What are we going to do?" I asked for Youngjae as he was too shocked to speak.
"Well, he is already on the waiting list for a lung transplant, so the only thing we can do is up the dosage of his treatment. That is if he is happy to do so." Dr. Kim explained.
