Fear.

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                              1985

   

         I wake up to a the faint sound of a deep, baritone-like voice singing as he gently brushed his thumb against the back of my hand.

"How can you, forgive me?

After I've often gone astray.

How can you, think of me?

When I do things my way."

     
  I gave a slight smile. That was me and Donald's favorite song by Commissioned, a gospel group that he always listened to. I  blink my eyes rapidly as I try to refocus them to make out who it was.

"Yall, she woke up!" A person I recognized as Dalvin exclaimed.

I peered around, noticing my surroundings. I was in a hospital with JoJo, Jackie, K-Ci, Dalvin, and Donald sitting next to me on my bed. I attempt to get up but fell back into the hospital bed once I felt a stinging sensation in my back.

"Ouch", I wince in pain.

"Ti, you're up!" Donald leans over to hug me, I look down, realizing that he was still holding my hand.

"What happened?" I asked as I was still very much unaware of the state I was in.

"I found you in the janitor's closet and you looked fucked up, like you was in a boxing match or something", JoJo explained.

I looked at the mirror and saw a giant bandage on my forehead, a large purple hand print on my neck, a black eye and several other bruises on my body. I start to remember the horrifying things Rashad did to me in that dark closet. The doctor walks in interrupting my thoughts.

"Ms. Thomas, you have some minor injuries that will heal in the course of a couple months, but when we did an X-Ray, we found something very concerning." The doctor explained.

"Whats is it, doc?" Donald says with eyebrows raised, still not letting go of my hand.

"When we ran the X-ray, we found that your vaginal cavity was broken, Ms. Thomas, I'm sorry to say this, but you've been raped".

Tears flowed down my face when I heard those words. Raped? I was raped? I hid my face in the pillow as I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I can't believe Rashad would do this to me.

I finally looked up from my pillow and saw an angry Donald pacing back and forth with balled up fists. His eyebrows knitted close together as his face formed into a mean scowl.

"Who the fuck would do this shit!?!" Donald shouted dramatically as his lips curled and his eyes were something unreadable

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"Who the fuck would do this shit!?!" Donald shouted dramatically as his lips curled and his eyes were something unreadable.

He noticed I was looking at him and his face softened, he bent down to my level, looking me in the eye. "Ti, do you know who did this?" He asked. My mind debated on whether I should tell him or not. When we were little, Donald promised that he would protect and look after me and I did the same. We've been pretty much inseparable since then. He's my older brother since I don't have any siblings. He's highly overprotective of me and won't hesitate to shoot any man that disrespects me in any way. We told eachother everything. I'm the only friend that he ever told about his BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

"I-It was Rashad..." I answered.

"That mothafucka moved back here?" K-Ci shouted from across the room. Rashad, Donald, K-Ci, Dalvin, and JoJo always had problems with eachother. Rashad and his crew would always get physical with them. Donald warned me about dating him because he knew he was bad news, but I didn't listen. Donald still doesn't know about the shit I went through when me and Rashad dated, and I want to keep it that way...

Donald holds my hand, looking into my eyes. Those eyes. I had to turn away or else I would melt right then and there.

"Tiana, I just want you to know that you're safe with me, I- I mean we'll take care of his ass for you, don't worry about it." He said, reassuring me.

I nodded my head. I still couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. How will I tell my parents about what happened?

"Ms. Thomas, you're parents are here", Dr. Wesley said with a small grin. I look to the door and there stood my parents with worried expressions on their faces.

"Oh my babyyyyyyy, are you feeling ok?" My mother felt my forehead trying to see if I had a fever too

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"Oh my babyyyyyyy, are you feeling ok?" My mother felt my forehead trying to see if I had a fever too.

"Yes, mama I'm fine", I lied, pushing her hand away.

"The doctor told us everything, who did this to you?" My father said, sternly.

Now what was I going to tell them? I can't tell them I fell because thats bullshit.

"Um, can you guys leave us alone for a minute?" I said, looking over at the guys.

"Sure thang", Dalvin attempts to wink at me but ends up blinking with both eyes. I roll my eyes at him.

I wait until they leave so I can talk.

I sighed. "Mom, Dad, have a seat, there's something I have to tell you". I looked down, playing with my fingers.

"I don't like the sound of that", my mother said in a concerned tone as she sat down.

"Mom, Dad, I've got some explaining to do. During freshman year, I went out with this boy named Rashad, and he was very abusive. He would force me to do things that I wasn't comfortable doing by threatening to hit me. I stayed with him because I knew if I didn't, he would do something terrible, so I just stayed with him and hoped he woukd change for me. At one point, he even tried to kill me."

My Mom and Dad's jaw dropped.

"Are you still with this boy?" My father asked.

"Well no. He moved away in the middle of Freshman year, but he came back today because he said we had some Unfinished Business to tend to. That's when all of this happened." I explained. I hated telling all of this to my parents because I was afraid they would think of me differently, usually they see me as a smart, independant, Straight A student that had the fear of god in her.

"Donald warned me about him, I should've listened" I cried silently, holding my head in my hands. How could I have let his happen?

"Tiana, it's important that you know we don't think any different of you." My dad got up to comfort me.

"And we'll make sure that that nappy headed little boy stops messing with my baby." My mother said, also getting up.

I sighed. I just hope my life can finally be normal after this.


I just hope...

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