Hidden Beneath The Scars

Chapter 1

{TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, parent abuse, verbal abuse, self depreciation}

Week one: Freshman Year

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING SHORT-ASS!" Some asshole screamed at me as I tripped and bumped into them. I couldn't catch a break. My books scattered across the floor and people stepped on them.

"Th-thorry..." I said quietly as I reached to pick up my books and papers. No one helped me. Why would they, I'm basically invisible.

Rich Goranski, the stupid depressed freshmen with a lisp who can't get his shit together. God, I wish I were dead.

I desperately wanted to become something better than I was. Hell, I even found Chloe's number once, (In the phone book) and  called her to ask her on a date. All I got back was, "How'd you get my number you freaking creep? What are you a stalker or something?"

"Babe, who is it?"

"It's nobody Jakie."

And then she hung up. What a loser am I? Maybe if I off myself it will all go away...I don't know. It sure as hell would be better than this. Heh, nice one Goranski, making puns till the end.

The school day went as normal as it could be. Me panning after girls I can't have, getting unexpectedly aroused by stupid things then having to jerk-off in the bathroom like a utter loser, getting beat up and told I'm a failure.

No teacher liked me. You know those teachers that go with what the cool kids say. No matter what your grade is, if you aren't popular you suffer. That was most of my teachers. They would give me F's on things for turning it in one minuet after class starts, but let kids like the Heathers turn in all the late shit they wanted at a moments notice. Have to go to the bathroom to cry, nope, sorry, not popular enough. It sucked major ass.

I was done with it, but I knew any amount of school abuse I take would be ten times better than going home to face my dad.

I suffer through the day, like I will the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that one too. That's all I can do. I wish I had a friend. Someone who cared if I died tomorrow.

I look over in my earth science class and see the two people who I most look up to. They seem so oblivious to it all, and it's obvious to me that they love each other so much. I don't judge. I think I'm straight, but just because I'm questioning doesn't mean I have to question anyone else's choices. Michael and Jeremy...always a team. I tried to talk to them once. "H-hi..." I stuttered, God Rich don't be such a whimp.

Jeremy turned around and smiled at me confused. "Hey, you need something?"

"N-no I juth um..." I said blushing. I was surprised he even talked to me.

"Jer! I did it!! I beat Rainbow Road!!!" Michael said. Jeremy gasped and turned back to Michael. He didn't look back at me. That was the day that I learned I was forgettable.

Some lame-ass kid who wears nice shirts that are wrinkled and smell, glasses that are always dirty, and hair that looks like a raccoon died in it. I have no muscle at all, I look like a freaking twink.

The bell rings to my relief. It pulls me out of my depressing thoughts. As I exit the school I see Jake and Chloe. They're a making out in front of the entire school. It makes me a little woozy as I watch them. As they pull apart my eyes lock with Jake's. I blush and look down. I get on my bus and go home.

My dads not home so I relax. He's probably at a bar somewhere cheating on mom. What a scumbag. Moms in the kitchen making some chicken soup. She kisses me on the forehead when I come in. "How was school sweetheart?" She asked as I put my book-bag down.

"It was great mom." I lied and smiled.

"How's Jake?" She asked, ah yes, my imaginary friend. I told her that when she started worrying about if I had friends.

"He's good, he's really funny mom! He told me this joke today, okay so, updog?"

Mom looked at me puzzled. "Updog?"

"Updog?"

"W-what is updog?"

"Nothing what's up with you!" I burst out. She starts laughing and snorting. My moms not the most graceful of laughers, but everything she does is so real that I find myself loving her laugh as much as I love her.

"That is really funny, tell Jake I said so." She said wiping tears from her eyes as she chuckled and stirred the soup. I started on my homework.

My favorite subject is science. Figuring out chemicals and how it affects the body or object to create on opposite or predicted effect. If one person takes a pill one day, how will it fade in time, could a pill ever have such an activation so it never fades. That, my friends, is a cure to cancer idea.

I couldn't finish my homework because dad came home drunk again. "WHERE IS MY SON?" He yelled. I put down my pencil. "I-in the kitchen..." I said.

"I HEARD TODAY THAT YOU GOT ANOTHER F? YOU ARE SO USELESS, YOU DO NOTHING!" He yelled at me getting in my face. I was shaking and crying.

"Harry-"

"NO MARTHA LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT YOUR FAILURE OF A SON! LOOK AT YOUR MISTAKE!" Mom was crying now too.

"Stop..." he slapped her and I stood and punched him in the face. He was an inch taller than me so I got a good uppercut. He glared at me holding his face. I covered my mouth, what had I just done...

I went to bed with bruises and scars on my face and my ribs. That was normal. Dad was watching tv and mom went to bed. I got up and looked around my trashy room. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm running away.

((Sorry for sad, next chapter will be a Lil better🔥))