Week Three: Junior Year
My Squip has been acting weird ever since the computer event. Not only is it short wiring, it turns on and off at will. I can't get it to stop. I almost failed two important tests and it makes me stutter and repeat words in my sentences.
I figure it's just the model and I can deal with it next Monday at the party. At the same time it's making me a bit concerned. It is the biggest party of the fall. If I fuck up, then it will be remembered by the high school mass of gossip. That shit train is cruel and unforgiving...
I brush it off. Jake's play is coming out this Sunday and he's super hype about it. Well, him and Christine. I've barely got two words out of him that were not about Christine or the play. The man is dedicated. I'll give him that.
It hurts so much these days... I don't know I guess I'm lonely. Either that or really horny. I'm not really in the mood though. I'm trying to figure it out. Lately I've been questioning a lot of things recently. I did some internet searching and found there was a thing called bisexual. It's when you like girls and guys.
I think it's kinda cool, but I'm worried what everyone else will think. I've only been with girls before. It's one thing to think that you like both then to actually be it...I don't know. Maybe I'm lying to myself? Who am I kidding? Everything about me makes me want to die.
Dad was right. I'll never amount to anything. My Squips broken, I'm so pathetic that I can't even talk to Jake without it. What's going to happen if I shut it off? I can't live without it.
I shiver and walk into my last class. I guess I'll make that decision of it comes to a point where I have to. I thought I was past suicide. I feel so trapped.
Jake asked me a couple days ago to come to the dress rehearsal to see him. I said of course at the time, but now I don't want to. It's just another chance to see him and Christine together. Not to mention that weird stalker. Oh wait...no Jeremy's good. Maybe if I help him get Christine to like him Jake would talk to me again.
"I would not advise it Rich. There is a very slim chance Jake will ever see you as anything other than a friend he can use to vent to and get drunk with." My Squip says and I jump as the bell rings signaling the end of class. I didn't hear the teacher at all. I must have tuned out the whole class. Shit.
I walk to the theater and sit in the back. The lights cover me so I can't be seen. I don't want to be seen. If I'm seen people will see me crying.
Jake is on stage talking to Brooke casually. He smiles when he sees Christine. He says bye to Brooke and talks with Christine as Brooke goes over to Jeremy. In the other corner Jenna is gossiping with Chloe. "Places people we have only a few more days until opening! I want a run from the top!" Mr. Reyes says clapping his hands. Some kid get him a hot packet. Jake glanced around the stage and frowned, disappointed.
It looked as if he were looking for something. It was probably his script or something. The play started and the lights dimmed. I want pale as Jake's eyes glanced over me in the darkness. I knew he couldn't see me.
I look over to see another kid a few rows down from me. He gives a thumbs up to Jeremy, who ignores him. It must be the loser guy Jer hangs out with sometimes. Jeremy's giving him one hell of a cold shoulder.
"Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour
Draws on apace. Four happy days bring in
Another moon. But oh, methinks how slow
This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires,
Like to a stepdame or a dowager
Long withering out a young man's revenue." A kid says dramatically from the stage. I tune them out until Jake comes on.
He plays some guy called Demetrius. "I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes,
And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts." Jake booms and I really believe him. They do three Acts and then it's time to leave.
Christine really has a good talent. She was amazing on stage. I just wish she wasn't. Her and Jake are the two stars. The people that everyone knows is going to end up together at the afterparty.
I get ready to leave just as the other kid a few rows down is. He's mumbling to himself some kind of pissed off monologue.
He passes me without looking. The stage lights turn off and I stay in my seat for a while. After about five minuets I get up to leave, but the lights turn back on. It's Jake, and he's wearing his costume. "O Helena, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?..." He shakes his head and clears his throat. "O Helena, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?..." He sighed and tried the line on his tongue a number of times before switching to another. "I say I love thee more than he can do!" I shiver as he says it with such emotion. His yells echo through the theater.
It's so empty. He must realize this because he looks down at his hands and sighs. "Oh God..." He sinks to his knees on the stage. I stand and he looks up as the old chair squeaks and protests. "Hello?"
"Jake." I say and he relaxes.
"Rich...my parents. They just called to say they're coming to see me in the play." He says as I walk down the isle to see him. I climb up onto the stage.
"Why are you worried. You're going to do great. I believe in you. You sound fantastic."
"You heard all that huh?" He chuckled flatly. I nodded.
"Lets go home, we can play cricket or get a forty and just hang?" I asked. He laughed and nodded.
"You always know what to say man." He smiled and stood and we walked to his house. I felt happier than I had this entire week.
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OMGOSH GUYS IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOUR ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH!!!! GET UP AND CELEBRATE BECAUSE DEAR GOD THIS IS A LONG BOOK BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING THE RIDE AS MUCH AS BEE!!
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Hidden Beneath The Scars
FanfictionRich was starting his freshman year, and he's trying to survive with all this. However, when he takes a pill to seem cooler does it really help? Rich Origin Story oml I've wanted to do this for soooo long! Trigger Warning: Child Abuse, Parental ne...
