Fatherhood and Distress, part one

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"Hello Ms Stevenson, I'm Dr. Jarley and I'll be attending you for the duration of your time here. Danielle, would you mind getting some water?" she had turned her attention to the nurse, and then back to me, "Surely, your throat must be very dry. Oh, and with that headache, uh, Danielle?" She turned her attention back to the nurse.

"Yes?"

"Can you get Ms Stevenson some codeine, please?"

"Sure thing, Dr. Jarley"

I smile weakly at the both of them. As much as I'd like to say I'm happy, I'm really not. Josh has been very stressed lately, and it seems I'm giving him more stress than I'm taking away. And right now, I really just want to be home, in my own bed. After taking some codeine, Josh got me some soup. It kind of sucks that I can only have the broth but I'll manage. The warm broth slides smoothly down my throat, healing me in the process.

"Hey," Josh looks at me, once again, worried, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I clearly don't want to talk about this and Josh seems to understand.

"Okay. You know that weird fascination Keon has with random 'fun' facts?"

"Yeah"

"Well today, he found out that Katy Perry themed her twenty-fifth birthday party after Willy Wonka."

I laugh (ouch!). "That's weird, but random, and I suppose that's what he's looking for"

Josh's face splits in two with a wide grin. Seeing him happy makes me smile too.

"Why are you smiling like that, Josh?"

"Nothing really. I just love seeing you smile"

"I smiled before, when the nurse and doctor were in here"

"Yeah, I know. But those weren't real, genuine smiles, like this one"

I laugh again. "You need to stop doing that!"

his brow furrows. "Stop what?"

"Making me laugh!"

"Okay, two things. First, it's not my fault if I'm naturally funny. And second, I love it when you laugh"

"Ya?" he nods. "Well it hurts whenI laugh, so maybe you won't be laughing when I have to murder you for being too damn funny"

"Ooh! I'm so scared! You know, somehow, someway, you manage to be adorable, even when you're threatening to murder me because I have a sense of humor."

"Hey! You should be scared!" I playfully hit his arm, ow. It hurt me more than it hurt him.

"I don't want to uhhh... ruin the mood, but..." he stops, looking down as if he's suddenly fascinated by his shoes

"But what?

"But, I want you to tell me what was wrong before. I mean, I can't make you do anything, nor will I try. But I'd like to think you trust me enough to tell me anything."

"Oh Josh, you're being silly. Of course I trust you. I just don't like seeing you worried, that's all."

"What?"

"First you were worried about fatherhood. I have no idea though. And then, you got all worried about me when I fell. And then you got worried about me not telling you that I was worried about you being worried. You know what, come here"

"Okay..." He slowly begins to lean forward, although he doesn't look me in the eye. Much to his surprise, and slightly to mine, I forcefully grab his face with both my hands, effectively causing him to look me in the eyes. "You," I start, "are going to be a great father. And if that's not reassuring enough, know that I wouldn't let you be a bad father for one second, got it?"

He gives me a shy smile, "ya, got it"

•••
Hey guys, so I know this was a little short but I wanted to publish after my long absence. But, as you can see, it's a part one. I hope you're happy with the next few parts as I've put a lot of work into them... Have a great day, or night, or life, depending on when you read this... thanks for reading 🖤

- Z

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