Team 10 Imagines {DISCONTINUED}

Anthony-Suicide

Hi! This was requested by @sluttytrujillo with prompts 55 and 174.

*TRIGGER WARNING* 

As you can tell by the title, this chapter is about suicide and self-harm. If that triggers you in any way, please don't read this. I don't want anyone to read this chapter for any reason if it's triggering. 

Word Count: 1149 (Sorry I feel like this one's kind of short.)

Bri's POV:

Depression.

Self-Harm.

Suicide.

They're not very fun words, are they?

Depression; something I suffered from.

Self-Harm; Something I did daily.

Suicide; Something I was going to do. Today.

And now was the time...

I was in the bathroom, blade in my hand. I could end it right now. I kept telling myself. I could make all my pain go away. I said in my head after each new line on my arm. Just a little deeper...

"HEY BRI!" I heard someone shout from downstairs. I quickly hid my blade and wiped my arms off, covering them with the sleeves of my sweatshirt.

I casually walked downstairs, hoping that what just happened wasn't noticeable to anyone. "What's up?" I asked with a fake smile. Fake. I was good at that. Too good.

"We're going to get food, care to join?" Chance asked me.

"Um, actually, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to lay down." I said. It wasn't totally a lie. I was tired. But, tired of being alive.

"Oh, okay, want us to grab you anything?" Anthony asked. My best friend and love of my life, Anthony. It might be dramatic, but I haven't felt anything like this for anyone before Anthony. Straight up Romeo and Juliet love.

"No thanks, I'm not really hungry," I responded quietly.

Anthony took a step closer to me. "Are you okay?" He whispered, looking at me with concern in his eyes. The parts of my heart that were left in tact shattered into pieces at this moment.

My heart broke thinking of Anthony being concerned about me. I was his best friend, second only to Chance, of course. I could imagine him coming upstairs to check on me because he probably got me food anyway, 'just in case'. I could see him finding my body. I could see the horror on his face, him breaking down crying over my body. It hurt me. Truly. But he would get over me. They all would. 

I teared up thinking about it, and Anthony must have noticed because he wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back, inhaling his scent for the last time ever. I kept my tears at bay, just barely. 

"We'll be back soon. Then, we're going to talk. Do you hear me?" Anthony said softly.

I just nodded, lost for words. 

"I care about you, Bri. You're my best friend. Okay?" Anthony forced a smile.

"Okay," I whispered.

I turned, walking up the stairs. I stopped halfway up, turning to watch everyone leaving. Erika opened the door and everyone grabbed last minute stuff to leave. I was looking at my friends for the last time. Wow. I turned back around before everyone left. I heard the door close and it was silent. I assumed everyone had gone. Little did I know, one certain someone had stayed behind to make sure I was going to be okay.

I walked back into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly cracked because I wanted to be able to see my room. My room was across the hall from the bathroom, and I had cleaned it really well so it would be easy to get rid of my stuff. I had intentionally left my door open with a slideshow of pictures playing on my tv. They were pictures of all my friends. Me with them, them without me. I chose mostly ones without me in them because that's what Team 10 was going to be by tomorrow. Without me. I sat on the floor and rolled my sleeves back up, grabbing my blade. I looked at the pictures one last time, smiling a morbid smile. I looked down at my arms, deciding where I would cut. I was so focused, I didn't hear or see the door swing open.

"Bri?" I heard a voice. I jumped and dropped the blade.  "Please...don't do this..." Anthony said, tears in his eyes.

"I have to," I whispered weakly.

"No, no Bri, please, you don't have to do this, okay?" Anthony said, quickly grabbing the blade from the floor before I could.

"Anthony, please." I pleaded quietly, "I don't want to be alive, Anthony, you'll all be better off without me." I said honestly, tears finally finding their way down my cheeks.

"Bri, I'm so sorry," Anthony said, a tear rolling down his cheek as well.

"Sorry? For what?" I asked.

"I knew you were sad, I knew deep down that you were hurting, but I didn't do enough. I could've helped you better. I'm so sorry, Bri, I let you down."

"No! Anthony, no. This is not your fault. It couldn't possibly be your fault, Anthony. I'm depressed, okay? You can't fix that yourself."

"We'll get you help, okay? Promise me you'll leave this bathroom with me and we can get you help." Anthony pleaded. For a second I believe him. But then-

"Why? Anthony, why do you want to waste time and money on me?" I asked, genuinely wanting to know.

"Because, Bri, I'm in love with you, okay? I love you." Anthony said, his voice quieting to a whisper by the end of his sentence.

"You... you do?"

"Yes, Bri. I love you. As more than a best friend. I love you so much. I want to marry you in the future and have little babies with you and... Bri, please. You don't understand how much you mean to me."

"I- I love you too, Anthony."

"Really?" Anthony said, smiling through the tears in his eyes.

"Yes, Anthony. I have never felt like this about anyone before you. Honestly, you're the reason I'm still alive right now. I would've been dead months, maybe even a year or two ago if it wasn't for you, Anthony. I love you too." I responded honestly.

Anthony leaned forward, gently cupping my cheek in his hand. I felt his lips make contact with mine, softly, and I kissed back. It was a slow, loving kiss. And it all suddenly clicked. I could live. I could stay alive, stay with Anthony. I could be happy again. I pulled away from Anthony and started crying.

"I'm sorry," I said between my sobs, "I think you've just reminded me what happiness is."

"Don't be sorry," Anthony said kindly, and he grabbed my hand, helping me up.

"It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger."

AH THIS WAS SO SAD I'M SORRY. I'M ACTUALLY CRYING TEARS. I hope you enjoyed though! <3