One Year Left to Live | ✔️

Chapter 19 - The Golden Locket

I've been pacing so much this morning that I was genuinely concerned that I would wear a hole in the carpet, or light it on fire from the friction, or wear holes in my feet.

I didn't actually manage to do any of those, I did get a hole in my sock though.

I stopped to remember why I was pacing. Right, I wanted to wait in my room until after Annalynn was done her breakfast, but it just turned to unnerving thoughts and stress pacing.

I thought about what she must think of me right now, and what she might be thinking. But I had no idea.

I sat on the ground to keep myself from pacing any longer. I shook my foot and tapped my finger on my leg instead. I just couldn't sit still.

I'll reorganize my room.

My room was already pretty clean just because I like to keep it that way. I didn't like messes, my life is already messy enough.

I got up and walked to my desk which is also where I keep all of my jewelry and hair products.

I opened up my sterling silver jewelry chest that my grandmother had given to me. This is where I keep all of my necklaces, but I never wear most of them.

My eyes were immediately drawn to a gold heart.

Why do I still have this?

I pulled it out with the short gold chain dragging behind it. I squeezed my eyes so tightly shut to try and keep the memories from entering my mind. With my eyes still shut I walked over to my trash can.

The locket stay in the tight grasp of my fist but the chain hung down almost already touching the edge of the tall can. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding against my chest like a speaker pumping a base, I could hear it. I could feel the blood rushing through my body and the air I was breathing entering my lungs.

Why was I so scared to let this go?

~
"I told you not to get me anything for my birthday!" I told him.

"I know but I wanted to!" He smiled.

I looked down at the little box he had given to me, it was messily wrapped but what else can you expect from an 11 year old. I looked back at him; his cheesy grin made me want to smile but I couldn't because he had to think I was mad at him.

I looked back down at the box and then up at him again. He nodded his head, encouraging me to open it.

So I carefully unwrapped it and the lifted the lid from the little white box.

"Oh my goodness!"

"It's not real gold," he assured me. "But it kinda looks like it."

He managed to get a smile out of me after all.

This is a very mature gift to give. Most kids I imagine would just give a littlest pet shop toy, but I guess we are not like most kids.

He has always been mature for his grade, just like me. I guess that's why we get along so well.

"Put it on." He urged.

Unable to contain my excitement, I grabbed the beautiful gold heart locket from its box, moved my hair off my shoulders and wrapped it around my neck.

I tried clipping it but it was difficult with my little hands since I couldn't see it.

"Let me help you." He offered.

I handed him the necklace and turned my back to him without thinking twice. I had forgotten that my hair was to the side, revealing my age number.

He saw it and gasped, stumbling backwards dropping the locket he held.

I realized what had happened and spun around with my hands over my mouth, eyes wide. Same as him.

"You're going to die in 2 years?" He asked in a whisper.

I put my head down in shame.

"You told me you were going to live until you were 60! Like me! You lied to me." I expected him to look hurt or pitiful, but rather he looked mad. "You pinky promised!" He raised his voice.

I could find nothing to say, I didn't know what to tell him. Tears of guilt ran down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I whispered back.

He ran out of the room, leaving the locket on the ground and me in tears. He didn't even look back.

"Carter wait!"
~

I opened my closed eyes to look at the locket I was still holding over top of the garbage can, still not able to let it go.

As much as Carter hurt me, and as much as I hate him right now, he was my only friend. I couldn't bring myself to throw away the memory of that.

I blinked back the tears that had formed in my eyes, I'm not going to let this memory hurt me any longer. I'm going to accept it.