Today is the first day of school, I still have 5 months and 9 days that I have to be in the same class as Carter. I have no idea how I will avoid him for that long.
Gladly I didn't have to see him after that one day; I blocked the number. Although, my mom said that he came to my house asking for me one day while I was out with Anny, talk about desperate.
I know he won't try in class though, and so if I just avoid him at lunch and after school then I should be fine.
Shouldn't I?
I walked into the cafeteria and the first person I saw was him.
I sighed and turned around at once. I'll just eat outside, September is still nice and warm.
I sat where I had met him last, no one ever goes there. I happily enjoyed my ham and cheese sandwich until I heard echoing footsteps. I stopped mid-chew.
There are over 700 kids and 120 teachers and CEA's in this school, it could literally be anyone. What are the chances of it being him?
Apparently %100, I chocked on my food.
"I thought I might find you here." He said calmly, as if our other conversation had never happened. That bugged me.
Should I run? Give him the silent treatment? Give him super sassy rude comebacks? I didn't have time to decide because he sat down right next to me and started talking.
"Please just give me a chance, I promise I will leave you alone after that." He looked at me but I looked down, I couldn't stand to look him in his big brown eyes.
"It better be a really good explanation then." I said bitterly, not looking up or changing expression.
"I hope it is."
"You have two minutes."
He took a deep breath and waited a second before starting, but I got impatient too soon.
"The clock is ticking."
"Would you believe me if I told you it was because I loved you?"
My heart stopped, but not because I was flattered, because I was disgusted.
He chuckled, "I know, classic. It's true though you know." He looked at me looking at him, I shook my head in disbelief.
"That doesn't make any sense." I said furrowing my eyebrows.
"I was scared."
"I was scared too, then you made me even more scared. Scared of hurting people and getting close with them and of being alone! You don't understand what it is to be scared." I spat my words like they came with a sour taste.
"I know." He whispered. His voice shook and cracked as if he was about to cry. But last time I checked, this boy didn't have a heart, so I don't know what he's doing right now.
I still didn't believe that he was honestly apologetic, but I continued on the conversation because I wanted to know. Even if it wasn't the truth.
"Why'd you wait so long to apologize?" I asked, he could still hear the bitter tone in the way I talked.
"Because I was a coward. I regretted that decision of leaving you the day after, but I didn't know how to talk to you after that. I didn't know what to say. I knew you couldn't forgive me when you were so upset."
"So what makes you think I'll forgive you now?" I cut in, looking him in the eyes.
"Nothing." I was not expecting that, "I did nothing to deserve your forgiveness so I don't expect you too. But I at least want you to know how sorry I am, even if you don't believe me."
My stomach turned and I physically felt my heart sink. I've always had a problem with trusting people too fast, and even though I am aware of it, I still trust. And I'm beginning to trust what he is saying, even though I shouldn't.
I looked him in the eyes; I always found it hard to read his expression through such dark eyes, but today it looked like I could see it. I could see guilt, and I could see honesty.
We looked at each other for way too long, but I didn't notice until now. I shut my eyes and shook my head, shaking me out of my daze.
"Your two minutes are up."
I wasn't looking at him now, but at the corner of my eye I saw his head drop.
"I wish you the best Shay Shay." He then kissed my hand, and I let him! I have no idea why; I was probably too focused on the nickname he called me when we were younger that made me cringe.
I was left frozen sitting by myself at the back of the school.
What just happened?
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One Year Left to Live | ✔️
General Fiction"So this is what it has come down to? A lifetime of anxiety lead me to this moment. But it wasn't worth any of it because this is it; the moment has come anyway. This is where I die and there's nothing you can do about it." - Shanalee lives in an al...
