One Year Left to Live | ✔️

Chapter 23 - Curiosity Killed The Cat

My original plan was to avoid him, but my frustration and anger took over.

"You!" I screamed angrily.

Carter turned to look at me with those same puppy dog eyes that he had when he was a little kid, but I was unfazed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!? Anonymously asking me to meet you," I spat, "didn't you get it the first time?! I don't want to see you!"

"I know you don't," His voice was very calm compared to my screams, but shaky."but I need you to hear me out."

"I would have gladly heard you out months ago! It's too late now Carter." Heat rushed through my body, I was so angry. Every emotion that had bottled up inside that he caused was spilling out and I was showing it. I was showing how much he hurt me.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, one after the other almost like a pattern.

Maybe I was imagining it, or maybe he was just a really good actor cause his expression seemed to be almost as hurt as mine. It looked like guilt on his face.

He took a step closer to me, I wanted to run away right then, but I felt weak. I turned my head so I didn't have to look at him instead.

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I am." He was close enough that he needed only to whisper for me to hear.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"It matters to me! I can't let you leave without making it right with you! I could never forgive myself."

My heart felt like it had sunk to the bottom of my stomach, heat rushed through my body in pulses and tears clouded my vision. Hearing him acknowledge that I'm about to die made the fear of it come flooding back to me. I was so scared, but I couldn't show it, not to him.

"So this is so that you don't have to feel guilty when I die?! So that you can feel like you did something for me?! How selfish." I chocked on the words as they came out.

"This isn't just about me, I'm worried about you."

"I don't want your pity." I said sternly, still not looking at him.

"I'm not pitying you, this is sympathy."

"Both do nothing for me so what does it matter which label you put on it?"

He was silent for a moment.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

I snapped my head to face him and laughed coldly. "That worked out well didn't it?"

His gaze met mine after I finished, the eye contact startled me and I looked away again immediately.

"What do you really want?" I asked with my head down.

"Forgiveness."

I was stuck between feeling sick to my stomach and angry, it was a bit of both.

"And I want a longer life so I guess neither of us will get what we want."

I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm, not super tight, but enough to make me shiver.

"Please, at least let me explain."

"You can tell it to my grave."

I ran. I ran away from him with tears in my eyes, and I didn't look back.

Why on earth would he do that to me? That is cruel, bringing up what I was just about to leave behind me.

I reached the house in no time. I burst through the front door and without taking my shoes off, I ran straight for my room.

I was too distracted to tell if Annalynn was still in the kitchen or if anyone saw me at all, I hoped they didn't. I needed time to calm down.

I sat, not on my bed but on the ground leaned up against it with my knees tucked into my chest. I rested my forehead onto my knees and let the tears fall.

There are no words that I could even imagine that could describe how I felt. I was so angry and offended and embarrassed but I still didn't feel like those described my emotions well enough. I just wanted to kill him.

Suddenly I heard the sound of my door knob turning which sent shivers down my spine. I don't wanna talk.