Dagger's Point

Chapter Twelve

I take care of the mare as quickly as I can, wanting to avoid another interaction with Mr. Oxford and his stale self. However, my wish is not granted as he comes striding past, throwing a glance my way, and it is one that sends a shiver down my spine. For some reason I feel like he will be watching me. If it's true that means no more day time trips to see Dagger, at least not for a couple of days. However, at the same time I feel like there is no way for him to be able to watch my coming and goings, as to the best of my knowledge he stays in his large house sipping Brandy, or Vodka, whatever he likes. But if he is a wizard then I guess he has his ways. When I am finished with the bay I realize that Jasper has yet to walk by with the chestnut. My first thought, of course, is that Mr. Oxford killed him, but I feel like that is only a little far fetched. Then he emerges, a bitter grimace on his face while he leads the chestnut.

I don't wait for him, leading the bay past and to her stall, not really wanting to talk with Jasper. I remind myself that he's an Oxford, the name meaning enough bad things now that it pushes away any guilt that I might feel. It's a sucky way to justify something but either way it works as I walk past him in the crossties not sparing him a second glance.

"I'm not the same as him." I have to pause then, his words taking me by surprise. I know that in reality Mr. Oxford didn't even really say anything, it's just the things that he didn't say that push me away so quickly.

"He doesn't care about anything, besides his money. I care about the horses." There is a pleading note to his tone that makes me look at him, he sounds so desperate and in need that I realize that he must be lonely.

"I'm not like him or Jett, trust me."

"I don't have anything against you."

"Yes you do. I can see it in your face, you're just like everyone else. They're all scared of my father and I, just because of what we stand for."

"What about Jett?"

"Everyone loves him, he's charming and just like my father, cold on the inside."

"You seem cold too."

"That's what I want people to see."

"Why?"

"Because it's easier, okay. To pretend that I'm someone that I'm not, then it makes everyone else's reactions towards me so much easier to bear."

I nod, understanding what he's saying, the way his voice rises and the tightness of his throat keeps me from pressing for anymore. He seems honest, and to the point where I feel bad for him, though it doesn't change my opinions of his family. Or that Dagger is absolutely terrified of him, and that there is a reason for that that I have yet to hear. I go to leave, not really having anything else to say to him, I mean I don't know the kid let alone anything else.

"Meet me outside the stud barn at 11 tonight. I want to show you something." I keep walking, not saying anything, but we both know that I am going to go. There is no way that I am going to miss whatever he is going to do, even if he does murder me. I feel a level of carelessness, like the thought of death is nothing to me, just another thing that happens every day. Which is true, and in it's own way death is beautiful. Even though Mom looked grotesque and lifeless, she still looked peaceful more so than I had ever seen her.

******

The cottage envelops me in it's peaceful loneliness and I can't help but peel the clothes from my body, putting on the most comfortable and lazy clothes that I can find in my boxes. I know that I need to unpack them, it has been too long and it makes it so much harder to find anything, but at the same time I just toss the boxes a dirty look and throw myself down on the couch. It's been so long since I've gotten to watch TV alone, or at least be alone. It's weird and I love it, the down time much needed, even though I really haven't been doing that much, it still feels nice. I don't know what I am going to do later when I go to see Jasper, if anything I am in more danger of falling asleep then getting killed by him. But, I guess you never know.