Chapter 12

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As days passed I started knowing each and every corner of down town New York. My relationship with Robert was stronger than ever and I couldn't be more happy.

Tomorrow was the first day of work, and I was excited about it, but a little scared as well. 

"What if I screw it all up from the first day Robert? What if my coworkers won't like me? What if...." as I was rambling on and on, Robert stole a kiss from me.

"Enough with the <<What if's>> honey. You'll do great. And how can somebody not like you? It's going to be fine. Peter already likes you and I personally think that you'll fit in from the first second you'll step inside. Just wear that pretty little smile of yours and you'll manage to charm everyone." 

I was really dumb. Here I was, dating Robert Downey Jr., and somehow I still had reasons to doubt myself. This was beyond crazy. Yes! My self confidence was blown over 10 years ago, but that didn't mean that others would see me less than what I was. 

I simply got up from the table and went into the kitchen to discard our now dirty dishes.

"Jo what's wrong? Talk to me honey. Please say something" I just stood there saying nothing.

The next thing I know, I started sliding down the cupboard onto the floor hugging my knees. Million of thoughts were running freely in my head, but one caught my attention. Tears were flowing uncontrollably onto my face. It was like a freaking waterfall. I just stood there silent without even mimicking my emotions.

Robert stood next to me with his arms wrapped around my fragile body. I haven't eaten good in days. When I'm stressed out I tend to not take care of me. 

"Honey you know you can tell me anything, Please just talk to me. I don't like seeing you this way" a pleading Robert said.

His eyes became watery as well. I've never seen Robert like this. A tear escaped and I got my thumb on his cheek to wipe it off.

"I'm sorry Robert. I'm sorry I'm causing you pain." 

"Jo don't. Don't apologize. I just want to take care of you and when I'm seeing you like this my world shatters into a million different pieces. I know it's hard for you, but let me make it easier. Don't deny my help babe. Don't push me away"

I took a deep breath and I thought of how am I gonna put into words all of my feelings. Robert looked into my eyes pleading once more.

"I don't know if I can do this Robert. Not us. Just this. Me moving all  the way here and starting my life from scratch. It's so hard having no friends. Well Hannah has been here for me, but I still have no friends. And then there's work. It's a new world for me. New coworkers. I have never been good at meeting new people." I let out a big sigh after I finish the first part.

"After I met you I felt like I can do anything I set my mind to it and I pretty much did. I was scared of changes but still, here I am thousands of miles away from home. I got the most wonderful job. You make me strong but somehow, I find myself being so weak. "

"Baby look at me" he guided my face up with his hands " You are not weak. You have never been weak. Just look in the past and see of how much you have been through and somehow you didn't give up on life. Sometimes I wish I could be as strong as you. Hell! You are the one that showed me how to be strong. What you see on TV and in magazines, that's actor Robert talking. I am confident in that position, but in real life I'm the weakest person you'll ever know. You don't see me as an actor honey, that's what made me strong in real life as well. For you I'm just me. The goofy 48 year old guy that loves a good joke and loves hanging around with you." He paused and kissed the top of my head.

"You see me as me. You are the first person to not chase me for my money and fame. I love that about you. You are genuinely good. That's you, but you are also the strongest and smartest person in the world, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."

"They don't" i answered with a smirk.

"Stealing lines miss Jo? You'll have to pay for that later." he said laughing. " Jo I'm here for you. Will get through these changes together. I'm right here by your side. "

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise my love" and with that he helped me up on my feet again.

"Strong and smart huh Robbie? No beautiful and hot ? I'm disappointed" I said while running away from him and into the bedroom.

"Ohh honey...I wouldn't make you scream my name every night if you weren't all that. Now come here and show me some love." He was now standing in the door frame with his arms crossed on his chest.

Somehow he always knew how to make me feel special. That was him. He made me feel like I can actually fly.

As I slowly made my way to him, to tease him, he just closed the gap in a second sweeping me off my feet and throwing me onto the soft bed. As he was hovering over me I saw a genuine spark in his eyes.

That spark made me forget about everything that was sad. Tonight wasn't about us having sex. No it wasn't because soon after he did that, he just laid in bed next to me holding me tight . 

"I know you were thinking about your dad. You have that look" he said while playing with my hair.

"Yeah I guess I was. I just...I don't know. He is not here to see how much I have achieved and grown up over the years. Sometimes I wish I would see his face again. He won't be able to walk me down the aisle and he won't meet his grand kids. He won't be here." I was sad again.

"Well he won't be here, but you can be sure of how proud of you he is right now. He won't be there in person honey, but he is with you everyday. You carry him in your heart where you go. He is having your back anyways. Just close your eyes and imagine he is here with you. What would you say to him?"

" I would tell him how much I love and miss him. I would tell him that I hate myself for not being a better daughter and I would apologize for not recognizing him in the hospital. And I would tell him not to worry because I'm in the greatest hands ever and someone will always be there for me."

It was a good exercise, because soon after I said those things I fell asleep and I slept like a baby. No more nightmares. No more bad thoughts. I was soundly asleep.

Robert's P.O.V

I feel so sorry for her, for what she is been through. I can't blame her for feeling sad from time to time. I can't help but fall in love with her even more. 

I looked at her as she was sleeping. She was peaceful after days of tossing and turning. I kissed her lips feeling content with myself. I sighed and started playing with her hair once again. I know she likes it when I do that.

Then something hit me like a brick. Valentine's Day is coming. I have to do something big for her. She deserves it.

Maybe a date at a restaurant? Or a long walk in Central Park? Or maybe  I could surprise her in another way? 

I know. It's on a weekend day so I'll surprise her with breakfast in bed and a large bouquet of red roses. Then I will take her out in town. Central Park is a good choice. Hmmm I should think of something else. Maybe it will be raining. Damn it Robert just think.

And with that I closed my eyes feeling the beautiful scent of her skin next to my nose. She smelled divine. 

We fell asleep just like that, but I also heard something being whispered.

'You Robert are the best thing in my life. I just hope you won't run away like the others. I would love being with you forever. Maybe miss Tin Man doesn't sound that bad after all. Good night my love. I love you" she said while kissing the tip of my nose.

I swear my heart skipped a beat. She wanted a family with me. She wanted me there for the rest of her life.

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