Shawn Mendes Imagines

2. Hesitation

Shawn's P.O.V

I'm sitting next to Y/N's best friend in the couch as we're talking about kind of everything that comes to our mind.

She came over to see Y/N, but my girl hasn't come back from work yet so I proposed her to wait inside the house with me. She became a good friend of mine as well through the years and I like her company, so it doesn't bother me at all.

"So, how has it been going with Y/N lately ?" She asks. "I haven't seen you both in a little while."

I scratch the back of my neck, and look at the ground, quite embarrassed.

"Well, it's fine." I answer, not really sure of my own words.

She raises an eyebrow at me before furrowing them both. We can never lie to her, she always gets there's something wrong.

"Are you sure ? You seem... anxious." She asks again.

"Hmm..." I hum, looking away.

She places one of her hands on my right thigh which makes me look back at her, straight in the eyes.

"Shawn, you can tell me if something's wrong. I mean... Y/N is my best friend, I know her so well. I can help you if there's a problem with her." She says, worried for us.

She's always been really happy about our relationship, and she's always there to support the both of us, no matter what.

I take a deep breath before I begin to speak and let everything out all at once.

"I love her, I love her to death, but sometimes... I-I don't know. I feel like she is done with me because of a lot of things. I mean, I'm always gone, I work until late at night, I forget our dates because I'm still not satisfied of the new song I'm writing or stuff like that... I have the impression that she can't stand our current lifestyle anymore. It seems like she doesn't love me like she used to before... A-And I can't blame her, I understand. It might be scary and annoying for her. I'm never by her side when she needs it... But I love her so bad and I'm-I'm fucking afraid of her leaving me one day..." My eyes water at the last sentence and my head drops.

I can't imagine my life without Y/N. I know she's not happy anymore with the life we're living right now. But at the same time, I can't give up on my work and my art.

Y/F/N caresses the back of my hand with her thumb to reassure me as she starts to speak.

"Hey, Shawn... Don't cry please or I will too I swear." She says with a chuckle. "I promise you, Y/N still loves you like crazy. You both are the perfect couple."

"You tell me that to cheer me up, but I know it isn't the truth." I state, completly sure that my girlfriend has had enough of me and our relationship.

"No, Shawn ! I swear ! When you're on tour and she's all alone and depressed, she always asks me to come over. The only way I have to raise her morale is showing her videos of you enjoying yourself on stage. It might sound dumb, but you should look at her face when she sees you and your band. There's always that cute little smile creeping up and you can see so much love into her eyes... That's amazing. A lot of guys should be jealous that they don't have a caring girlfriend like yours. I promise you, she doesn't want anyone else in her life but you."

She has sparkling eyes, and she is looking at the ceiling as if it could help her remember those memories.

"It's breath-taking the love she has for you, Shawn..." She adds in a whisper.
"And when you're here in person, and she glances at you and you don't notice it, it always makes me smile because she looks like the proudest girlfriend in the world. She loves you. She would watch you all day long if she could."

My sobs are now crying. I haven't realized all those details. I really thought she didn't want me anymore...

"Shawn... ?" I hear someone whisper from the door frame. It's Y/N, who is back from work.

I open my arms, making her understand I need her close to me. She takes the sign and throws her jacket and purse on the couch before hugging me tightly.

"Why did you think that ?" She asks quietly, her face buried in the crook of my neck.

"Y-You heard us ?" I ask.

"Yeah..." She sighs.

I run my fingers through her long hair as I stop crying slowly.

"Excuse me, darling. I really thought I wasn't what you wanted anymore." I say as I rest my chin on the top of her head.

"Baby... It's you and only you. Even if it's hard sometimes... I love you. I thought you knew that."

She looks up at me with loving eyes and then cups my cheeks with her small and cold hands. She kisses me passionately before we both pull away.

"I think I'm gonna let you both talk. Bye, guys." Y/F/N says before opening the front door quickly.

We both chuckle, still hugging each other.

"Can we cuddle for the rest of the evening ?" I ask shyly, wanting her warm body against mine to comfort me. All I need is her affection right now.

"Of course, handsome." She says as she pecks my cheek and tries to grab blankets at the same time.

"And always remember, Shawn : I love you. Understood ?" She adds, looking deep into my eyes.

I smile at her and peck her lips one more time as an answer. We spend the rest of the evening cuddling. I'm glad I can say that this amazing girl is mine, and will always be.