Shawn Mendes Imagines

40. Regrets Pt.2 (Like To Be You inspired)

I had started to write this a couple of weeks ago, but then Like To Be You came out, and I just had to take my inspiration from that song and delete what I'd already written.

Y/N's perspective

We saw each other the following day, just like we had agreed to, but let's just say it didn't end well. At all. I just yelled at him, and he just yelled back at me. I told him he was a good father but a horrible husband, which I shouldn't have said. He is a good husband, even a wonderful husband, but sometimes we just say things we don't believe ourselves, right ? And we just have to bear the consequences.

All I've been doing since then is hide the pain in front of my daughter, but cry as soon as she's asleep. I haven't seen Shawn since the argument, but he's tried to call me several times, even if I don't want to answer. And when I want to call him back, he's the one declining the calls.

I love him. So much. But I hate him as well. So much.

"Mommy ? It smells bad." My daughter's soft voice calls out to me, and I realize I've been fighting with my thoughts for too long.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I whisper as quietly as possible so Y/D/N doesn't hear me curse. I quickly move the pan from the stove and put the burnt pieces of meat in a plate and then throw the pan into the sink.

I can feel tears at the corner of my eyes. Everything I've tried to do since that incident with Shawn fails miserably. But I can't cry now, not in front of my daughter. She needs me to be strong. Or maybe I just don't want to admit I'm weak when it comes to my husband. I push my thoughts aside and take a deep breath before I squat down to talk to my princess.

"Hey, baby. Would you like it if you spent the rest of the weekend at your grandparents' ? Maybe you could ask for your cousins to come too ?" Her smile widens at the mention of her cousins, and she nods eagerly.

"Yes ! Maybe Granny will let us make cookies and eat chocolate with her." She says as if she was the happiest little girl in the world. A giggle slips out of my mouth when I hear her enthusiasm, but tears come back again as I observe her. She's his perfect copy, and when I look at her, I can see him in her eyes.

"Alright. I'm going to call Granny and ask her, ok ? Go prepare your bag for the night. I'm coming back in a second."

*

I anxiously press the button next to the name Mendes, and only a couple of seconds later, I can hear his raspy voice.

"S-Shawn ? I... Uh... I-It's me, Y/N." I mentally slap myself for being that nervous. He's my husband after all.

"What do you want ?" He snaps at me, and my heart automatically pinches. He notices his response was a bit too harsh and hurries to mumble a low "sorry".

"I just wanna talk, Shawn. Please, let me in."

I hear him sigh loudly through the intercome, but the buzz of the door that allows me to come in follows right after. As I open that door, the light inside of the buiding breaks the dark of the night for a brief moment.

A few minutes later, I'm in front of Shawn's door, knocking softly against the dark wood. The next thing I see is his gray t-shirt covering his chest which is rising and falling slowly.

"Come in." He mutters before he closes the door once I'm inside. He then leads me to the living room and offers me a seat in a comfortable armchair. He sits in the big white couch in front of my seat and sighs again as he puts his elbows on his knees and joins his fingers.

"So, where is Y/D/N ?" He aks first to break the awkward silence as I put a few papers on the coffee table.

"With my parents and her cousins. I just... needed some time for myself." My breathing is shaky and my hands are sweaty. I really don't know how to say the things that need to be told. I've never thought we'd both come to that situation.