12 | heal or destroy

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"Why are you holding onto me so tightly?"

"Just." He responded calmly, his grip on her waist getting tighter as the two lay in the bed comfortably. The grip was not a suffocating kind of grip, but rather the nice kind and certainly one that Kylie hadn't been on the receiving end of in a long time.

"This is weird. Why are you even here if we're not gonna fuck?" Kylie queried, all whilst making little to no effort to pull away from Elijah's hold on her body.

"Can't we just talk for once?"

"Don't you have Jess for that?" She turned towards him so their eyes were level with each other which was a rarity given their usual height difference.

Kylie had always been prone to the belief that brown eyes were boring which she'd always thought was a perfect match for the ever so boring Elijah.

But as she gazed into them now, she was coming to the conclusion that his eyes weren't truly brown. They were the colour of copper colliding with cinnamon. Like that warm and sweet honey, you mix into your tea in the morning but as night draws closer, they become the dark chocolate submerged in a cup of cocoa on a chilly night. The brown that completely engulfs you like a warm blanket as you look out to the stars.

The brown that reminds you that you're finally home and safe.

"I don't feel like I can talk to her anymore. It's been a long time since I've said this but, I feel alone. Even when I'm lying next to her at night, I feel alone." His voice sounded gravelly as he stared straight at her, as though his eyes were able to pierce through his soul.

For the first time, Kylie saw Elijah as more than just Jess's boyfriend; she began to see him as almost a reflection of herself. And she felt chills.

"Jesus Elijah, I'm not your fucking counsellor." She laughed, but it was a weak kind of laugh; the kind that revealed that perhaps, she was just as lonely as he was.

"I know you get it. Because I know you feel that way too."

"Mate, I think you're doing the wrong degree if you want to start psychoanalysing me." She turned around, facing the night stand with the broken frame which was now faced down on the table and forgotten.

She buried her hands beneath her head and scrunched her body up, assuming the typical spoon position.

But she felt him slowly begin to slither closer towards her.

"...Because I heard you that night when you were talking to your dad. I know about the bailiffs, about your mum, about your dads' affair. I heard everything."

She felt her body freeze and she became certain that the temperature in the room had dropped; something that her mother had told her only occurred when a ghost entered the room.

She squeezed her eyes shut, not even Jess knew the ins and outs of everything, not even her own mother was aware of the lengths her two kids had gone too.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to eavesdrop on people's personal conversations?" She taunted him, knowing full-well he'd pretty much grown up with no real figures of authority.

He ignored her previous question as he continued, "I think I misunderstood you. And maybe, you and I are more alike than I first thought." He continued, his arm stroking hers in a gentle manner. A touch that had nothing sexual about it and was completely alien to Kylie.

"We're nothing alike. You have Jess, someone who loves you, more than anything. I don't have that. I never have and I probably never will."

"Sometimes, love just isn't enough anymore."

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