Numb Pain

Chapter 3

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The next morning I barely wake, for after all, how can you truly wake up when you haven't really slept? I drag my weak, bruised body to the bathroom and touch my fingers gingerly to the black eye I've developed overnight.

"Nothing a little makeup won't fix..." I mutter under my breath, listening also to the heavy growls of sleep that radiate from the bedroom. I dress quickly and leave the house, not once glancing back. I like to pretend this is the last time I must imagine I'm running away, but of course I will return tonight, as I do every day.

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Pushing open the glass door is becoming more and more of an effort as my arms turn weaker and every shade of purple and pink, but today I reach out my arm to find the door is already open, a young man standing inside. He smiles and I find my eyes slipping into the deep dimples in his cheeks.

"Good morning, Eleanor" he says.

I dip my head and murmur a feverish 'good morning' back to him, accompanied with a half-hearted smile.

I walk to my desk to find a steaming Starbucks coffee sitting in front of my computer, aside a blueberry muffin. I smile a little to myself and flash a glance at Ethan behind me, who just smirks and returns to his work.

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At lunch break, Ethan comes over and perches on the edge of my desk.

"Hey." he smiles. I return a feeble greeting although I continue to feel his eyes bore down on me. The idle conversation persists until I finally find myself relaxing slightly. He manages, somehow, to coax small laughs from my stomach and I find myself smiling voluntarily. An odd feeling consumes me, and I push the gnawing realisation that all of this will come to an end at some point and I will have to return to the nightmares that real life presents me with. Joy is short-lived, after all.

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As the working day draws to a close, Ethan corners me. A question erupts from his lips and he seems eager for a positive reply.

"Are you walking? It's a cold night. May I offer you a lift?" I smile and start to shake my head, but he interrupts. "Hey, I promise I'm not a kidnapper."

I sigh. "Thank you, that'd be nice." I follow him out to his car. "Thanks, by the way. For yesterday, for the coffee...and the muffin."

Ethan doesn't say anything, but I see the faint blush that creeps up on his neck. I look out of the window, deciding not to embarrass him by questioning his reaction.

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He rolls up outside the house I have pointed out to him, and somehow he notices my trembling hands.

"Are you alright?" I can hear the concern etched in his voice. I nod softly, steady my hand on the car door handle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." Little does he know that I am regretting ever being born.

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I walk into the house where, as ever, Jai waits for me.

"Who was that?" His voice is gruff and noticeably poisoned. I shiver.

"Just someone from work. It was cold, I needed a lift." I say, yet his brow furrows and he steps forwards so that he is now in close proximity to me.

"It was a guy. Never talk to him again! You hear me?" I open my mouth to respond but he has me by my collar, and slams me against the wall, his fists crushing my flesh over and over again. I drop back against the surface behind me and slow tears roll across my face. He just tugs my hair and forces me to stand.

Thus far, he'd never resorted to rape. I never thought he would. Never underestimate the man you name a monster.

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It was the early hours of the morning when I finally stir. I sometimes think it would be easier to just slip away in my sleep. Then I wouldn't have to go through this trauma each day.

I sit up, glancing at the photo frames on the vanity table, of which show me and Jai as a happy couple. I vaguely remember those days. The days I enjoyed spending time with him. He was my rough diamond, and I thought that he would be able to change his ways for me like he'd always promised.

Smiling weakly, I go to get up and reach for my neatly folded uniform. But as I do, an arm snakes around my waist, pulling me back with little effort. He is gentle, but I know that that can change within an instant. His morning voice is scratchy and slurred, and I know he is probably suffering from a hangover. Silent screams sound in my head as my body goes rigid.

"Stay..." He mutters without opening his eyes, nuzzling into the pillow. I grimace and go to stand, yet this time he is more forceful. He flips us, and I end up beneath him as his large hands lock mine into a fierce grip, holding me down into the bed sheets. Panic finds me, rising into my eyes as I search for an escape.

And then the phone lets out it's unfamiliar ring.

Nobody rings us nowadays. My family deserted me after I chose to disobey them and be with Jai. I have no friends because Jai doesn't like to share me with others.

His face contorts in anger as he leaps up, racing down the stairs with venom in his eyes. I choose this opportunity to sit up and gather my things - shakily - for work. Maybe this will deter him?

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Wandering down the stairs, I listen in on the conversation taking place over the phone. It is the housing agency. We are obviously way behind on the rent, as Jai continues to shout down the phone at the poor person on the receiving end. I head towards the front door, scooping up my keys on the sideboard. The room is silent for a second and as I turn back, the phone is hanging from it's coil. I walk over to it, replacing it on the receiver.

Silly, silly girl.

Spinning around, Jai is standing in the doorway, his hands clinging to the doorframe.

"Going somewhere?" he asks, cocking his head to one side. My body sags in defeat as he strides over to me, throwing my work papers on the ground. They scatter and I duck my head, staring at my feet. Punching me in the stomach, I keel over, spluttering as he guffaws at my weakness. Maybe today will be the day he kills me?

I bet my parents are just waiting for that inevitable phone call...