Numb Pain

Chapter 32

And...here it is! The beginning of the end. We're so sad to announce the plot, but we thought this would be the best event. We'll probably do one more chapter and an epilogue, but we're not too sure yet. The story is under renovation at the moment, so if you go back to earlier chapters, you'll probably see lots of differences. But it's mostly all the same plot, so don't worry, you don't have to reread the whole thing! I hope you've enjoyed this series, and the prequel will start in a couple of weeks maybe. It's undecided. We highly doubt that a sequel will be made to this, so don't hold your hopes too high for one. We'd like to thank every one of you for standing by this story and connecting with the characters, just like we have. Please vote/comment!

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"I don't have a choice."

The words leave my mouth as if they are scripted and I don't even leave time to think about my reply. I search his gleaming eyes, pooled with tears once more. I am hurting him, but it will be a whole lot worse if I don't do what is required. Ethan can be happy without me. There will be others that he can share his heart with. I just pray and hope that he respects my decision and doesn't make this any harder than it already is. I am leaving George behind too, and although it pains me to leave him without either of his parents, I know that Jai will continue to sabotage any happiness we ever manage to conjure if I don't carry out the priest's instructions.

I cup Ethan's cheek lovingly, my whole body shaking with fear. Bile rises in my throat and I do everything to push it back down. Tears stream my face and my vision swims as I attempt to blink away the anguish.

"I'm so sorry...so, so sorry..." I whisper, my voice almost inaudible. His own turquoise orbs are frenzied as they explore every inch of my face, looking for some hint that this is all a massive joke and we can go home. I wish that is the case too, but unfortunately, this is reality.

I caress his face one last time before I stand up. My bravery is beginning to thin out, and I need to do this before it's too late. I take George from his arms and stare into those baby blue eyes, remembering the moment that I first held him. The only surviving twin. I kiss his forehead, the essence of talcum powder and fresh linen soaring through my nostrils. I breathe it in, and a fresh wave of tears pour from my ducts. I hold him close, snuggling into his tiny body as he squirms beneath my possessive grip. He gurgles uncomfortably, swatting at me with his chubby arms, and I relent from clutching him so tightly.

"Mummy loves you so, so much...I'm so sorry baby, so sorry. I'm going to see your sister, keep her company. Your daddy too. I'll watch over you sweetheart...I can promise that much. Be a good boy...for Mummy. Be a good boy for Ethan..." I tail off, pain lancing behind my eyes. This is going to be a lot more difficult than I'd first thought. George senses my discomfort and begins to blubber, pushing away from the crook of my neck. I detach him, outstretching my arms so that Ethan can prise him from my fingers. George instinctively grabs at Ethan's jumper, calming down instantly. I smile as Ethan bounces the baby gently in his arms.

"Please promise me that you'll look after him, no matter what?" I stare at him as he makes his decision. It is a quick one, as I can almost see the cogs turning in his confused mind. He looks to the ground, closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

"I promise." The words echo in my head, and I suddenly become eternally grateful for Ethan's kindness. The next thing I know, a coldness envelopes me. Jai.

"I'm waiting..." The ghostly whisper enters my mind and plays tricks with my sanity. It is my turn to sigh.

Turning, I walk up the steps of the house, grasping the door handle at the entrance. I take one last look back at them both. I could've been so happy. I could've watched baby George grow up. Watched him get married. Maybe even had more children. But yet I am destined to follow a death sentence for another man. A man I thought I loved as a teenager.