The Ride Home

Chapter 26

I got home earlier than usual since my mom insisted that she picked me up from school. I was getting closer to my parents. And I knew I would miss them when I went off to college. Although they do things that I hate, they show me so much love that surpasses anything I've felt before.

Like when I was younger my dad used to wake me up early in the morning just so I could scare my mom when she woke up. She hated it. But she would giggle at my innocent joy as I bounced up and down on her bed proclaiming that I was the best prankster afterwards. My mom hated the scare, but loved the joy it somehow brought me.

Or when my mom held me the entire night after my first boyfriend broke my heart. And she consistently did this with every heartbreak. She never reminded me that she didn't approve of the boys or tell me "I told you so".

She would just hold me.

I could see why she was getting tired of my countless heartbreaks. And she saw somebody that wouldn't break my heart; Ben. I knew she was doing it for good intentions. And I didn't want to disappoint them with another heart break. I didn't want to go through another heartbreak. I wouldn't let Blake break me.

I was extra hyper that night. My mom had made brownies and I ate at least three of them. It was about 12 am but my heart was rushing and I couldn't get a smile off my face. I was thinking of Blake. I flicked on my bedroom lights and laid on the floor. I could feel the room swirl underneath me. I always feel high on sugar. It's like my whole body is being ran by tiny sugar robots.

My fingertips lightly touched my lips, remembering how Blake's lips felt against mine. And I remember after we kissed. Our bodies were tucked together as sleep overwhelmed us. It wasn't just the kiss, or the closeness of our bodies. It was him. It was how elated I felt in the lake with him. It was how magnificent I felt when he recognized my beauty. I turned onto my side still wearing a massive grin. It was just him in general.

But the more I thought about it, the more I became worried. I was scared. He had control over my emotions now. Although he could make me feel amazing, he has the potential to make me feel terrible. And I could see it crumbling. The heartbreak was just around the corner. Soon we will pass each other without acknowledgment. Soon he will just be another story I tell to my friends, concealing the heartbreak underneath it.

This avoidance carried on throughout the week. We would see each other, smile awkwardly, and then carry on with ourselves. It was like the day at the cabin never happened. Some days he would ignore my completely. He would glance at me and then slowly look away as if he was bored. I, on the other hand, was the opposite. Every time he looked at me I offered a smile. I looked up at him every time we passed in the halls. I would even try to say something to him, but he would just excuse himself and leave before I could say anything.

It was like he was politely trying to scrape me off from his life. And I was sick of it. The week was utter hell. It was as if all my hope and idiotic fantasy's were ripped in half. And the sickening part about it was I knew it would happen. I knew the moment I went back home we would part ways. That was his plan all along. Each day I would contribute more and more anger towards his name.

My head was smashed into my pillow as I continued to think of him. It had been exactly one week and tomorrow was another annoying and consistent Monday. I was done. I was done trying to make an effort. I made a pact with myself. I promised myself I would ignore him completely tomorrow. I would erase him from my memory and carry on with my life.

And I would do this looking good.

I planned my outfit the night before, something I do rarely. I decided on a short black dress with a maroon colored scarf. I paired it with black books. I was going to try to look decent tomorrow.