rants!!

some stupid cunt in a pink hat!

Yesterday I went camping with my family
.here's a short recap

Mags (Margaret my aunt) threw a pink hat with a bobble on top that covers your ears to my dad. It was freezing and all the beanies were being used. By me. Amy (my cousin) mags. My mum and my lil baby brother who's ten months. Alfie..

So dad ended up wearing that for the hole night and next day

But someone was tryna light a gas fire beside us while mam was putting Alfie to sleep. And making loads of noise.

So dad went over.

Forgetting about the hat.

He asked him to stop. And while noticing he was wearing g the hat he said. 'Don't mind the pink hat but could yah shut the fvk up?'

Then he came back with a huge grin. The adults got drunk.

We ran out of wood from the fire.

Dad declared he was gonna put one of mags' car wheels on it

Then asked her how attached she was to her Porsche

She told him not to go there.

Then. As the meteor shower was supposed to happen that day. They were making up news reports on what they would say if they did put the wheel on the fire

'Mags: the hole of Westport couldn't see the meteor shower last night, this black pume of smoke came out of nowhere

Dad: -says something but mags cuts him off

Mags: some stupid cunt in a pink hat!

It sounds weird but she was implying to dad 'setting fire to the wheel'

Which he didn't do.

And on the way home. The pickup lost life.

We couldn't get up the hill coming out of tubbercurry.

Mags decided to tow dad. I was in her car at the time.

She tied a rope to the pick up and to her car.

Then she tried to tow him.

She pulled him an inch. Revved to much and went flying forward.

In the middle of the main road.

We also went. On a ferris wheel.

I was shaking the cart laughing.

Mags mum and Amy were screaming at me.

Dad was laughing.

Alfie was trying to leap out.

Mags: I swear to god I will kick you up the are when we get to the ground bookie! (My actual name was said not bookie)

Mum: stop it bookie. Ahh

Dad: I have the slight sneaky suspicion that mags might be a little afraid of heights

You see. As Alfie was trying to leap over. (He usually throws himself off the bed.) Mam made a joke out of it.

Mam: Alfie this isn't the bed. There's no coming back from this!

Also. Me and Amy. Being the oh so gay couple we are. (We aren't a couple. But we act it for the fun of it Cuz we're weird )

We got engaged! I'm wearing the ring right now. No kidding.

We ran around Westport camping site holding hands and got such weird looks.

But it was great fun.

Although. We couldn't do the swan boats Cuz. Amy knowing me knew I'd push her out of the boat. And she just got her period. And I mine. Surprisingly. My first time too.

It was still fun. Definitely when I won all games at the fun fair area. Won myself a rainbow poop emoji teddy.

And Amy a nemo teddy. That she named fidgeman after the Dolan twins fish.

There's a story as to why I got her a nemo.

When we were at Alton towers on our school tour. My friend . or well. I tolerate him. Kieran. Won a nemo teddy in those teddy grab claw things.

I paid him a pound for it. Amy ended up owning it.

So we went to the buffet for food. Left him on the table (the fish not kieran)

After Christopher stealing it . throwing it to kian. Who threw it to Nathan. Who being an idiot threw it to me.
The douche bags. Around our age next to us were laughing at is and making fun of nemo. When I had filled my plate and got back from the buffet nemo was gone.

We ran around screaming  where's nemo for an hour. Not realising how weird we sounded. We soon came to the realisation nemo was gone

(I still think it was the douches next to us)

So I got her fidgeman as kind of. An inside joke.

Its late right now. And I'm half asleep. I'll tell yah more next time