∆ Friend

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You know what I hate?!

people.

I hate my best friend.

I know it sounds absolutely horrible and I feel horrible.

Horribly alone.

I have always been there for her even when I woke up everyday wanting to kill myself.

She is so skinny and tall and has long beautiful hair and a Boyfriend and a nice house and when people ask her why she gets so depressed they understand when she says her dad died. She says I could never fathom how depressed she is. She asks me how I could be so depressed. It hurts. If she knew how many times I have cut because of hurtful things she has said to me without even thinking. would she even care? I haven't cut in a long time but today, right now, I want dripping blood. I want it to run over my fat stomach and legs, over my hurt and ugliness. I don't want to be this person anymore. I just want to mutilate my self. I feel so angry and frustrated. I don't know how to be strong anymore. I am getting bad again but telling everyone I am better. You make me want to cut, Friend.

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