Tell it Like it is

∆ Random thoughts and yada yada

I've never been the type to cause a ruckus, although I do have a tendency to be slightly dramatic...most up with my thinking. I am not, nor have I ever been an attention seeker. I love acting and sing, but I have a huge fear of sticking out. I don't think that seeking attention is at all bad I think everyone needs it. Everyone one wants their own form of attention though.

I have always wanted to be one of those people other people just look at and think "I want to be her friend. She seems awesome." But it will never be that way for me. I am a good person, easy to get along with, honest, loving, and ultimately forgettable in every way. My old therapist said it saw probably me just picking the wrong people to be friends with but I think it's me. I'm just not enough for anyone. Maybe I'm just not interesting. I know what you are thinking, "What?! A suicidal crazy person isn't interesting?!" No. They aren't. When you feel super depressed it makes trying... hard, and I just know even if I try to make friends with someone that they will just forget me then move on later. It hurts too much so when people are nice to me I end up fake smiling and nodding a lot. All most people care about is themselves. Who would want to know my story? What could it change?

(Sudden random passionate thought)

I've listened though. I've heard a lot of stories actually, I just realized that. Random peoples stories that I just bump into on the street or bus. People who's names and faces I can barely recall. I remember their stories. Something about a persons life story is just so....amazing. I love it because they lived it and it's so beautifully complex. There is no such thing as a boring story. People that randomly start telling you their life story usually have the most interesting ones. It just spills from them on accident, like an old worn out pipe that has been through a bunch. I don't know if everyone randomly has people tell them their life stories or if it's just me, but it is truly the best feeling in the world. It's like seeing something in a new way and realizing that the 16th chapel has a roof! I feel like once people tell you their story it links you and then someway.

Sorry about this if you read this far. Sometimes I have really random passionate thoughts in my head. This is just one of the ones that happened on paper. To wrap this whole random thing up in a super cheesey\truthful way, I'd like to say that I  remember every story and hold them in my heart. I treasure them more then the most precious jewels...and in saying that I realize it sounds super lame and sappy. Deal with it. I'm a sappy-love fest. That is my street name. It gets me hella bitchez for rizzle.