The History of the Phantom

Nightmares

He's stood over me. The tall man stood over me. He stared at me with his bone chilling death glare. When you looked into his eyes, they burned hotter than a pit of fire. No! I cried out in fear. Around me, I heard people chanting and cheering with great astonishment. My stomach tightened as I screamed at the top of my vocal chords, begging to be freed. Ever so slowly, the tall man raised a thick wooden stick high in the air. No please not again! I pleaded as my eyes burned with desperation. All of a sudden, I felt the wood smash into my bony back. My body cluttered to the floor from a loss of balance. I got hit another time, but it was even more painful. I whimpered in agony as I let the demonic man beat me. I closed my eyes shut so I could break the terrifying eye contact I shared with the man. By the time I opened them back up, I found myself standing instead of lying on the ground. I glanced at my feet and saw the tall man sobbing on his knees. I looked into my hand as I clutched a familiar sword. As if my arm had a mind of its own, I automatically swung the weapon into the man. His upper body collapsed onto the ground when I released the handle.

I jerked my head up from my pillow, screaming from a fear that was beyond horror. I gripped tightly onto the blankets as I held them closely to my chest. My heart was beating in such a quick rhythm, it felt like it was about to burst out. Gustave stormed into the room with widened eyes. Tears spilled down my cheeks because I knew this was more than just a nightmare. This was a memory. A memory that will haunt me to my death.

It was late at night and I was staying at the Daae house. I have been there for a week and a half now. I haven't been sleeping well due to my amount of nightmares, however, this particular one was the worst. It was also the only one that made me wake up screaming.

"JESUS CHRIST, ERIK!!" Gustave shouted panically. He scurried to my bed to see if I was hurt. He stared at me as if I was being killed. Christine was now crying hysterically since my yelling woke her up.

I couldn't respond. My voice was caught in my throat as dark thoughts overpowered my mind. I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears. Of course, I failed and cried uncontrollably.

"Hey," Gustave spoke in a soothing tone.

"I can't," I managed to mutter between sobs. Even though I was awake, my mind was still being haunted from the nightmare.

"You can't what?" He asked nervously. I could tell he had an idea of what I was talking about, but he wanted reassurance that he was wrong. He wasn't.

"I can't live like this."

"Don't talk like that."

"I don't know what you expect me to do! I killed someone! How will I get over this?!"

"If you give up, I won't be able to live with myself." He stood up while throwing his hands in the air. He glared at me with both sadness and anger.

"Gustave, you have a loving family and a wonderful home. You say you can't live with yourself but you can. I'm sure by the time I die you will continue on with your happy life," I murmured. My speech lingered in the air as Gustave looked at me as if I had just grown two heads. My words pained us both.

"How could you say such a thing? How could you ever think that?" He asked appallingly. At this point, he was the one who broke down crying. Everything was silent except for him trying to smother his sobs back in his throat and Christine calling in the distance.

"You should go and take care of Christine," I said. I couldn't bare to see Gustave hurt any longer. I also yearned to have Christine back in my aching arms but I couldn't. I didn't want her delicate innocence to be destroyed by my touch. It hurt me tremendously to not be able to hold her, but the fear was too strong for me to fight against. It was best if the father rocked her back to sleep instead of me.

"I'm not leaving you. You are coming with me," He snapped as he grabbed my arm. I could tell he was worried if I was going to end my life if he left the room. I managed to put my mask back on before he dragged me out of the room.

When I walked into Christine's bedroom, I saw her in the crib screaming while kicking her legs viciously. It took Christine a good thirty seconds for her to recognize me standing beside her. Once we made eye contact, she settled down. All the tension in her little body dissolved into serenity and contentment. A smile cracked on my face, and she giggled as sweet as a bell. Christine slowly stretched her arms out as if to tell me to pick her up. I felt my heart fall into my stomach as I shook my head.

"I think she wants you," Gustave whispered in my ear.

"I can't hold her," I told him.

He took a deep breath in and out as he put his arm on my shoulders. He stared down at me as I looked up at him.

"You're not a murderer. You saved so many people in that carnival. That man has tortured all of you. What you are is a hero," He said.

I stared at him in disbelief. A hero? I have never thought as myself as that.

"Come on, pick up Christine. She clearly needs you more than her old man right now." His sense of humor has returned, but I still refused.

"Please Gustave, don't make me do this."

"For crying out loud, if I thought of you as you think of yourself, I would kick you out of my house let alone hold my only daughter. The only thing I have left of... Mary. Yet you still are here. I want you here. I trust you."

I looked back at Christine. Her arms were still up, begging to be held. She opened her mouth as if to call out my name. I gave in to my senses and bent my head down to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. I carefully placed my hand behind her head, but I drew back immediately after she reached up to my mask. I couldn't let her see my real face. It's too terrifying for a child.

"I'm going back to bed," I said. Then I walked back to the guest room. Why do I have this connection with another person's child? What could I possibly have over her for her to want me so bad?