A Beautiful Paradox (COMPLETE)

Chapter 1

It was hard to tell the time.  The entire room was filled with darkness, and it didn't help that Kit had dumped the blankets all over himself.  And on top of that, Kit had trouble opening his tear-stained, swollen, puffy eyes.  He didn't even know that it was humanly possible to shed tears non-stop for how many days now?  He was losing track of time.  Of seconds, minutes, hours and days, forever stuck in that horrific nightmare.  The nightmare that he himself created.  That moment when he pulled the trigger and shot that deadly blow, killing his beloved and with that, his very own essence.  And damn, just thinking about it brought back all the tears, all the pain, all back over again.  He was even beginning to feel a little bit sorry for himself.  As if he even deserved any sympathy, Kit bitterly thought.  He seriously needed to get a grip.  Or at least check the freaking time.

Kit reached out his arm, fumbling around the bedside table to search for his phone.  He had turned it off, obviously not wanting to deal with the explosion of calls and texts he expected to receive from everyone.  Which included Ming.  Especially Ming.  He didn't have the courage or, quite frankly, the energy to face him again.  Not yet.  Or maybe, not ever.

The phone slowly turned on, revealing the time to be fifteen past eight in the evening.  And already three days past.  F'k.  Like expected, his inbox was filled with missed calls, texts, messages and voice messages.  From his parents, his brother, his wild doctor pals, Yo, Forth and...Ming.  Kit stared at the name, shining bright on his phone in the midst of all the darkness.   It had always been like that.  Ming, always full of happiness, of joy, of undying love, and being the sheer light in Kit's world.  And with that light gone, of course Kit was going to be lost and miserable in all the blackness remaining.  Kit just hoped with all that he had that Ming wasn't as miserable as he was right now.  Kit deserved all the pain that he brought upon himself, but Ming.  Ming deserved to be happy.

Kit looked at his phone again.  There were a bunch of voice messages, all from Ming.   7 in total.  He couldn't bear to listen to any of them.  He was already tearing up just from looking at Ming's name, so how could he really.  But neither could he bear to delete any of them as well.  Kit's fingers lingered on top of Ming's name, on top of the play button that would let him hear the voice that he missed so much.  

Just when he was about to give in and press, his cell phone started ringing.  It was a call from Pha.  A Pha who was probably fuming in anger and worry for his friend.  Kit mentally prepared himself before picking up the call.

"Hey Pha."

"...Sh*t Kit!!!"

And with that loud burst of fury came a string of cursing, all directed at Kit and his stupid inconsiderate selfishness that made everyone sick with worry.  Kit cringed as he sat through all the rage.  And he thought that he was the designated bad-mouth in their doctor gang.  If it was another time, Kit would have definitely laughed and would have immediately teased Pha for all his crude vulgarness, but at the moment, Kit had to admit that he was a bit intimidated and very sorry for causing Pha to act so out of character.

"Where are you?!"  Pha demanded to know, finally done with his angry rampage.

"I'm at my brother's apartment.  He's out of town this week, so I'm looking after his place while he's gone," Kit explained.