Bad Boys

11.

I'd become everything I said I wasn't. I'd done things I never wanted or thought I'd do. I hate myself.

"Stupid fucking idiot." I mutter to myself and slam my palm to the side of my head.

I'd hit her. I'd actually hit her.

I hit a girl. A vulnerable one. One who was just trying to help me, to open me up and comfort me. And that's not the worst of it.

After committing my crime I'd left the apartment and headed to the closest bar to drown my sorrows and smoke until my lungs gave up on me before giving into the nearest temptation and going back to her place. I didn't know this girl, just like I didn't know any of the other hundred.

"Come on, hurry it up."

Which explains why I'm in here, for eighteen months. They'd seen my record of misdemeanours and threw me in here to rot until I learnt from my mistakes. Natalia pressed charges, she had all right to and I don't blame her.

I still think about Sylvia. That bitch can rot in here too for all I care.

"Did you not hear me boy I said hurry it up!" He slams his baton on the heavy metal door. I stand from my bed and follow him out to the visiting rooms. The buzzes from the doors unlocking gives me a headache but I can't show that it bothers me, I'll be done for if I show any weakness.

"Sit down. Section 24."

I move my feet to take me to my section and sit down behind the glass window to see two empty seats. Another buzzer echos throughout the cold concrete room and visitors enter through a door on the other side of the glass.

"Oh son." My mother cries as soon as she sees me. My father comforts her and helps her over to their seats. "My baby. What have you done."

"I'm sorry ma."

My father bangs his palm against the glass in pure rage. The guards don't look at him twice, afterall I deserve what I've got. "You think sorry is gonna' fix this? You've ruined us Phoenix. Your mother can't sleep at night knowing what you done, where you are and the man you've become. I could forgive and forget about getting kicked out of college but this. No. I can never forgive you Phoenix, you were better than this."

I remain silent because I know everything he just said was nothing but the truth. I had good grades, a supportive family and at least a chance at a career. Now it'll be hard for me to find a job with time on my record.

The visit doesn't last long at all. My father just stares at me with a mix of disappointment and anger in his dull eyes, my mother cries and can't even bare to look at me. Other prisoners are pressed up against the glass as if trying to hug their family and friends whereas my story is a completely different one.

A lonely one.