short answer: i suck
long answer:
I've been on this account for almost 2 years now, and if you've been following me for a long time, way before I started doing covers, then you'll know that I used to write books. Wow, I know right, what a surprise to you that a person who can't even apply simple grammar to paragraphs and sentences decided to write a god damn book. That was one of the reasons why I decided to unpublish all my books, but there's a lot of factors why I decided that.
The most obvious one, obviously, I can't write. I'm shit at English, and I cannot use grammar for the life of me. Other than that, I also can't spell, compose complete sentences, or use cApiTaliZatIOn. Yes, I'm basically an illiterate, except the fact that I love books. I've been reading since a young age, and I'm still in love with it. That's why I wanted to write a book in the first place, but realizing that I can't write, I decided to stop embarrassing myself on the internet.
I remember writing a book when I was around 9 years old, and it was basically plagiarizing. I'm not that much of a creative person, and although I can imagine plots of a book or film in my head, I cannot finish the idea that I had for fuck's sake. I have really good ideas for books, and I can imagine how I'm going to write it, but I would be sick of it real soon and I would never be able to finish it. I'm great at starting things, but not that good at finishing. That's exactly what happened to my "first book".
I started out strong with a plot inspired by a book I read back then, (wow, so basically fan fiction. I never actually realized that.) but halfway through, I kinda dug a hole for myself. I ran out of ideas, and there's nowhere for the plot to extend anymore. My dad had to actually correct my grammar and edit the entire book. Which wasn't actually that long, I reckon around 1000-1500 words. It was really anti-climatic, without any exciting moments or such. So short story(hahaha) short, the book was complete shit.
Moving on, I was actually thinking about completely rewriting that book and maybe posting it. Not that I would be able to finish it. Talking about rewriting, I had a couple of my old books (Dream, Fallen Star, It's a deal) with plots I still kinda like. So if I one day wake up with motivation to spend hours rewriting, then maybe I'll consider doing that. Also, I have a holiday short story under works, so you might see it near Christmas if I actually get it done. (update i dug another hole for myself and im never working on that again)
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One more reason why I don't write anymore, it's that I don't really have the interest in spending hours writing chapters for a book/plot that I'm not even sure I want to commit to. Writing a book is a huge commitment (At least for me, I hate when I don't finish things, but I keep doing it.) because I've gotta commit to one plot and spend time on it. For now, I would prefer to keep myself busy with other things and an occasional cover once in a while.
I can come up with good plots, but I won't be bothered/can't finish it. I feel like I owe it to myself to finish what I started, but sometimes I get writer's block and blah blah blah - I'm not motivated anymore.
Since I've recently started school, I don't think I can subject myself to both homework, (me gaming lmao), and writing a full-length book. I change my mind too much, and even if I plan my day carefully, force myself to write 1000 words a day, the chapters turn out shit and I'll just end up scraping it. That's what I told myself to do when I was still writing Dream, my first book, to update once a week. Of course, I gave up a week later.
holy shit i just realized i might have commitment issues
quote of the day:
❝cross the finish line. or maybe just watch more netflix.❞
