Moving on (a PLL fanfiction)

Chapter Eight

Spencer's P.O.V

Dear Spencer,

I know that no amount of time will heal what happened between us. I know no amount of apologies will ever come close or cover what I did. I do never expect you to forgive me for what i did. I had some part of what happened between you and Alex. I was
in a vulnerable position, I had been broken out of prison against my will. I had no where to go. But she assured me she wouldn't kill you. She promised me that you would be safe. I had no idea how messed up she was and what she was capable of. I give you my word. I know my word isn't much right now, I should've been completely honest with you right from when you found out about me. That is a mistake I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my living days. But all I can do now is try and fix things as much as possible. I will, I will fix things.

I can't see you at this moment in time. I'm somewhere unknown to you and most likely myself. But I'm not going to be here for long. Atleast I think I won't be. As soon as things are safe enough, please know that you will be the first person I will come to see. Even if I have to risk going back to prison. As your biological mother, I've watched you from the sidelines ever since you were born, I watched the girl you grew up to be, even before you knew about me. I'm proud to be your mother, even though you may not be proud to be my daughter. I honestly love you with all of my heart, and until we became closer, there was a hole that needed to be filled in my life.

But that is not the topic of this letter. I'm writing to let you know, when I was exactly your age, I suffered with a small patch of breast cancer. Luckily it was only small and caught on time so they could remove the tumour. I was given one dosage of chemotherapy to eliminate any other cancerous cells. I was told that there would be a high chance that if I had female children, they'd be at risk of getting the same cancer at around the same age.

I'm urging you to check yourself, for any abnormalities such as Swelling of all or part of a breast (even if no distinct lump is felt), Skin irritation or dimpling. Breast or nipple pain.
Nipple retraction and Redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin. I had found one of these symptoms and it had turned out I did have the cancer. I caught mine in time. I want to make sure that if you are at any risk, you catch it in time too.

I hope I can see you in the near future when things don't seem as bleak as they are now. I want to give you the biggest of hugs and I hope you don't have to go through anything like what you have in your life time before. I hope one day you find it in your heart to forgive me for my wrongs and focus on my rights. I gave you life. It hasn't been the best life, but it has been a life.

I hope things are okay back in Rosewood with your friends and their partners.

All my love always

Mary, your loving mother

I fumble for the envelope, seeing if there is an address I can track her to. I find this to be unsuccessful. No address. No town as to where she's staying. She's literally just disappeared. She can't just leave this. She can't just drop a bombshell on me and leave. Everyone who I've ever loved have walked out on me. I know Toby came back, but I thought a mothers love was unconditional. I honestly thought she'd want to tell me something like this to my face. What does she mean by an unknown location?

I immediately run to the bathroom. Mary said she was my age. So there's a 50% chance I have the gene, 33% if Charlotte was still alive but the autopsy proved she had a clean bill of health. So I'm going to go with the statistic of 50%. I literally do every check she said. I do the first breast and everything feels perfectly normal. No dimples, no lumps, no swelling or redness. I then move on to the second. Everything seems normal much like the first breast. That is until I feel underneath. Where my middle finger feels a lump. My heart sinks. I can't swallow or breathe.