The Malec Chronicles

Together

Alec doesn't quite trust this yet.

For the past few days, all he was able to think about was Magnus, if he was alive or dead or scared or hurt or if he would even be glad to see him. And in the weeks before that, Magnus was still all he could think about- how much he missed him, how much he loved him, how this was all Alec's fault and if they got back together he would do better this time. But now that it was here, now that Alec was able to take Magnus in his arms, to tell him all the things that Alec promised himself he would say when he got the oppurtunity, he can't make himself to do it.

"I can't," Alec had said earlier that night. (Day? It's technically morning now.) Magnus had called him over by fire message in the midle of the night, saying that it wasn't a bigd deal, that he just wanted someone to talk to, but Alec could hear the plea underneath- the I keep having the feeling that this is the dream and when I wake it will be back in that nightmare, I just want to see you, to touch you, to prove to myself that this is real and I am here. So Alec went, crawling out the window and dropping down to the ground to avoid questions that no one would bother to ask him anyways (no one questions a war hero), and then down the street to the house where he knew MAgnus was to be waiting, already breathing easier at the sight of the warlock's silhouette in the window. "I just can't do this yet."

The "can't" referred to what Magnus was surely leading up to, the everything, everything that Alec had just started to feel truly comfortable while doing. Alec could have easily fallen back into this old pattern, let himself get lost in the kisses and the whispers and Magnus's skin on his own, let himself get led to the bedroom (or floor or couch or wall, he's at the point where he's no longer picky) and pushed down onto the bed. But he had pulled back instead, placing a hand between them to give himself room to breathe, because he could not let things fall back into place so easily. Not when they way they were was built with so many cracks, all of them waiting to crumble at the slightest sign of pressure.

"That's okay," Magnus had said, even if he looked disappointed, even if when he stepped away from the Alec and into the light the circles under his eyes were clear, even if he didn't sound quite sure. Like not only was Alec rejecting this, he might reject him any second. It made something unsure and uncomfortable crawl into Alec's throat and make a home there, like this was just another reminder of why this was a bad idea, because Alec did things wrong, he messed things up, this will never work- until Magnus reached for him again, drawing him over towards the kitchen and starting to make them both breakfast the way he used to when they had the time in the mornings, and one little piece of this broken thing seemed to settle in the right place.

Alec sort of wants to take his words back, especially with Magnus' sleep ruffled hair and the sweat pants hanging low on his hips, but he doesn't. This time, after everything, he wants a rock solid foundation to build upon, no cracks in sight.

This time, neither of them are running away.

Okay, this is the last one before they get back together for real, I promise.