The feel on your skin was sickening. The stick of sweat, the itch of mosquito bites and the sunburn on your shoulders. The dirt and grime covering you like a second skin. And the feeling only got worse as your recent morning sickness grew harsher.
A few months along, the fact that you were eating for two but couldn't even manage to eat for one made the morning sickness more hard and painful.
Everyone was run down, hungry, dehydrated and low on hope.
Everyone knew by now the fact that you were pregnant, and although people were congratulatory and happy for you both... You still knew they were mentally judging your timing.
But you and Daryl never planned for this. You always secretly wanted a family one day, one with Daryl more specifically. But you never spoke about it to him, not wanting to spook him away.
Your relationship with Daryl was complex. It was wonderful at times and brutal at times. He was the love of your life but some days you couldn't stand to be around him.
And right now, it was flipped around. Ever since what happened in Atlanta, there was a part of Daryl that had broke that day. Losing the most innocent person who had impacted him when he was separated from you after the prison.
And then learning that you were pregnant, sent him on a downward spiral.
You never did get to discuss it with him. You told him you were expecting, that you both were to be parents, and he simply walked away from you.
He hadn't spoken a word to you since then, giving you the cold shoulder.
It hurt you more, as it was the person you loved and needed most during it all, and he just walked away from you. And his child.
The sun beat down hard, like everyday before, but today it seemed it was out to drain any energy anyone had left.
You walked beside Maggie, someone who had been the kindest person to you through the pregnancy news and the closest friend you had. Daryl lingered in the back, and as many times as you wanted to look back at him, you stopped yourself. Knowing he would look away or look at you emotionless that would only send extra stabs to your heart.
"You holding up?" Maggie asks her, her voice soft and tone exhasted.
Lifting your head, you look over at her. "I think I'd be lying if I said I was."
"You know how Daryl is," Maggie begins and you can already feeling the tears stinging in your eyes. "he'll come around."
You curse at yourself for wasting the tears and the water you wished you had was now flowing down your face.
"He's been like all of is since Atlanta, broken. But even more so then some, not more than you of course, but--"
"I know." Maggie cuts you off as you struggle to explain it all correctly.
"I think he's scared. Scared that he'll loose me, like Rick did with Lori. And maybe he's right to be, I am. I just wish," You shake your head, feeling Maggie take your hand in hers. "I wish he'd talk to me."
Night soon fell, the darkness a slight release from the heat. The shade and the light breeze cooling down every inch of you.
A pack of dogs had come by early on, and in the moment of weakness and lack of food... They became dinner.
You sat a ways off, leaning back against a tree. Away from the smell of the cooking meat as it made your nausea swing. You couldn't bring yourself to eat any of it, no matter how many people almost forced you.
When you came over to your own space you hunched over and dry heaved. Nothing to throw up, nothing to give.
You wanted to cry as you sat there alone, but dehydrated and running low you had no tears to cry. Holding your hands over your stomach, you lean your head back closing your eyes.
The crack of a branch makes you snap your head back, seeing Daryl walk slowly up to you from behind.
Turning back, unable to watch him without feeling the tightness in your chest.
He sits down beside you, he smells heavy of cigarette smoke and sweat. You knew when you found out you were pregnant that the smoking was something you would have to talk to him about. But now, that seems like the last thing you need to talk to him about.
Daryl looks over at you, you see it out of the corner of your eye. But make no move to look further at him.
You wonder if he'll say anything, or just sit there.
He doesn't say anything, but instead reaches over to you. Turning your head to look, he's handing you a water bottle with just a few drinks left.
His water bottle... The last of his water.
"Ye both need it." You finally meet his eyes now, melting at his words.
Something so short and so simple, but meaningful because it's Daryl's way of kindness.
Acknowledging now both you and the baby.
Taking the bottle, you lean your head against his shoulder. A movement that surprises both you and him.
His arm is soon wrapped around you, the most comfort you had gotten from him in a long time.
The water was his peace offering to you, his apology in a way.
But now as he sits beside you with his arm around you, that's his reminder to you that he's still here and that he still loves you. Both of you.
