Fake Emotions

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Dazai
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[Y/N] and I had gotten closer after what happened a few days ago. She had been eager to spend time with me. On our free time, we went out, talked a lot and spent time together. It had only been a few days but she seemed to really be opening up to me

She had gotten rid of a lot of my loneliness that night. I knew it wasn't all of it because I could still feel it lingering around. I was still confused about what happened. The same thing happened when I used my ability on hers. My ability glitched when she used hers on me.

I didn't love her. I didn't like her like that. She really didn't mean much to me. Luckily for me, I was a good actor- so I made her feel like I did love her. I mean don't get me wrong, sometimes I was genuinely happy hanging out with her.

I was with her because I still was unsure about whether she knew what happened on Friday night. I didn't want her to reset the feeling. I worked this hard to make it go away, and I didn't want it to come back. Yesterday, [Y/N] admitted to me that this was her first relationship. It was honestly good news to hear. It was making my part easier.

It meant that she didn't know what a relationship was supposed to be like. She didn't know what a kiss with real love was like. She didn't know the difference between someone who actually meant 'I love you,' and somebody who didn't.

She was clueless. And I kept it that way.

My next plan was to get rid of the rest that was still in me. I was gonna get her drunk, and ask her to do it again. I knew I had to wait awhile so that she wouldn't get suspicious. I didn't want to risk anything.

Right now, I was on the elevator, going back up to my office. I had just finished lunch. I called Odasaku and asked him to come up to my office. I wanted to get some of his input- even though I had a general idea of what it was going to be.

A few minutes later, he showed up. I told him everything that had happened on Friday. His face  turned into an unhappy one.

"Dazai. This isn't right. You can't be doing this." He sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "I know you're lonely, but why use a method where it ends up hurting someone else? Where it could possibly push away other people as well?"

"Odasaku. It's okay. Don't you remember what her ability is? Even if she did find out some how, she can get rid of it." I said, leaning back in my chair.

"Yeah, I know. Still, now she won't ever trust anybody. She'll never be able to love. You're breaking her heart." Odasaku said.

"What? How? She's in love with me. How is her heart broken?" I laughed.

"She told me something about you bring out her suppressed emotions awhile back. Her heart was breaking and you-"

"Yeah, yeah I know." I sighed, as the conversation between Chuuya and I flooded back into my head.

*Flashback*

Chuuya, you can't tell her about my ability.

"Why?"

"Cause who knows what she'll do. She may be able to access my emotions- hell even Mori's, and be able to turn the Mafia into flames. I know she seems trustworthy but she's only been here for a few weeks. We both know we have to watch her." I said, somewhat lying.

Chuuya takes a deep breath.

"I hat-"

"Yes, you hate me, everyone knows, you hate me so much, I'm the biggest abomination in your life, you hate me so much, everyone KNOWS, you hate me- you fucking hate me, ok I know, I get it, YOU HATE ME. I GET IT." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Don't tell her. Alright?"

"Whatever.. ass face."

*end*

"You know and you don't care?" Odasaku asked.

I shook my head out of my thoughts. He sighs and looks at me with disappointment.

"Of course you don't. What else would I expect from you?" He says, answering his own question. "Dazai, I don't want you to regret anything later, so I'm gonna say this now. 'Never play with the feelings of others, because you may win with the game, but the risk is that-'"

"'-you will surely loose the person for life time,'" I ended. "Shakespeare."

"I've warned you."

"Like usual, Daddy Oda~" I sighed.

"Don't call me that." He sighed, rolling his eyes.

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I love odasaku so much godbless him

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