Emotions [Dazai x Reader]

Repeat

[Y/N]

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"A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other."

I woke up in a dark room. A wave of confusion had struck me before memories started flooding from the events that had occurred up to this moment.

I listened quietly to the beeping of the heart monitor. I looked at the ceiling for a few moments before sitting up and reading my emotions.

Only to realize I didn't have any.

I got off of the bed and left the room, I decided to go to my office. It was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I called Odasaku once I got into my office and briefly told him to come over before hanging up.

I worked on a few things while I waited for Odasaku to come to my office.

My door quickly opened after a few minutes. Odasaku sighed as he saw me.

"Hello, Odasaku."

I gazed at him until he sat down. He looked at me oddly as he responded.

"It's nice to see you, [Y/N]. How are you feeling?"

I briefly looked at my hand before responding. Forgetting that I no longer had my ability anymore.

"Neutral, I think."

Odasaku leaned forward on my desk, clasping his hands.

"[Y/N], I think you should take a break from this. Go out into the world and.. try to feel anything since they're.. permanently gone now. So once you come back, you aren't so inhuman." He said in a low voice.

Odasaku looked at me with.. something as I looked at him absentmindedly.

"This isn't fair to you. This is all mine and Dazai's fault." He admitted in a sad tone, "If I just would have stopped him from the start you wouldn't be this way. I'm sorry."

I tilted my heard and furrowed my eyebrows.

"What do you mean? What's wrong with me now? I'm not sad, angry, uh.. upset? I'm okay, So what's the issue? I don't know how I was feeling before this, but from my memories it seemed like I was... uh.." I paused, trying to think of a word to describe my emotion, "Not- happy? Which is not a good thing from what it looks like.. screaming and crying means not good so I would assume.."

I starting mumbling my thoughts, trying to figure out if "not happy" was the correct thing to say. Odasaku let out a quiet laugh and I stopped.

"That, that is laughter, which is happiness. So I am correct." I said.

We sat in silence. Odasaku seemed to have a hard time coming up with something to debate my logic.

"Odasaku."

"Yes?"

"Will you help me figure out which emotions are which?"

Odasaku looked at me weirdly before agreeing.

"I know what the names are, but I don't know what they feel like. Right now, I have 5 categories. I haven't felt those, but I know what they look like so I just separate emotions into one of those." I explained.

"Odasaku, I am hungry. Let's eat." I suggested, getting up.

"[Y/N] I would love to, but unfortunately I've already ate and I need to finish some more work. Why don't you go with Chuuya?"

I nodded my head and thanked him for his help. As he left, I went across the hall to Chuuya's office. I heard bickering become louder as I got closer. I knocked, causing the bickering to stop completely.