Emotions [Dazai x Reader]

Sweets

[Y/N]

------

"[Y/N], I truly do appreciate you for doing such an enormous task. I do apologize for taking longer-"

"No, no. It's all right. I'm happy knowing you got to relax." I said, cutting him off. He let out a small sigh.

"You will receive your pay for this soon. Once again thank you. You did such a splendid job, I am very impressed. I hope you rest well in the next few days you have off." Mori smiled.

"Yeah.. no problem." I said, rubbing my eyes harshly. "I will see you soon."

I waved at him and let out a sigh of relief as I walked inside the elevator. Mori's trip ended up turning out to be two weeks instead of just a few days. Which was fine even though I felt dead inside. I was doing something useful with my life and Mori was able to relax. So that was good.

As I made my way towards the door of the Mafia, tired and excited, I was stopped.

"[Y/N]!"

I quietly sighed and turned around to see a happy Dazai walking up to me and pulling me into a hug. I felt a little better with the affection given to me and my natural frown turned into a small smile.

"Are you done doing Mori's work?" He asked, pulling away from me.

"Yes. Now, it's time for me to go home." I replied, my smile becoming wider as I thought about rest.

I turned around and began walking out the door in happiness. Then Dazai stopped me.

"What about me?" He said sadly.

I froze and felt my heart drop. I kept my smile on my face and internally cried. My plans for today were now thrown out the window. Gone. Just like that. I closed my eyes reluctantly turned around to face him.

"I was going to invite you to my place.. since you invited me to yours." I lied, "but aren't you.. in the middle of working?"

"Really?!" He asked happily. "I just finished."

I stared at him for a few moments, my smile still plastered all over my face. I extended my hand out to him. He took it, intertwining our fingers. I turned around and began walking out the Mafia towards my car. I let out a small sigh as we got inside.

"What's wrong?" He asked as I began driving out of the Mafia.

"Just wondering what we should do." I quietly said.

As much as I really wanted to sleep, I knew I had to make this entertaining. Through out the drive, Dazai was the one mostly talking. He suggested a movie. After that, he began talking about Chuuya and Akutagawa.

As I parked in the driveway, I thought about Akutagawa. He was always so.. angry and cold. As Dazai told me more about him, I began questioning whether he was part of the reason for the way Akutagawa was.

I had seen the way he trained Akutagawa a few times. It was sort of a sad sight. Akutagawa was trying his hardest and here Dazai was, nit picking most of his flaws and almost never acknowledging some of his strengths. I begin to feel bad as I remembered the way I talked to him a few days ago. I sighed and I looked at Dazai with disapproval.

"Akutagawa's become such an angsty child, who just wants to be noticed by his superior. Please treat him a little nicer. He's just trying his best, ok?" I said quietly before getting out of the car.

Dazai followed after me as I walked up to my door.

"Why do you care so much about my subordinate?" Dazai asked as I opened my door.

"Why wouldn't I care about your subordinate? Promise me you'll treat him nicer, acknowledge him." I said.

I took off my shoes and headed into the living room, turning on the tv. I handed Dazai the remote and proceeded into the kitchen.

"Here, choose any movie, I'm fine with any." I said, "I'm going to make something to eat. Is there anything specific you want?" I asked.

"I'm fine with anything." He responded, eyes glued to the tv as he scrolled through the list of movies.

-

I ended up making ramen. Through half of the movie, we ate. After eating we ending up on the couch, cuddling each other.

The movie he choose was a comedic one. His laughing and the movie in general were what kept me from falling asleep. After the movie ended, we stayed in the same position, moving slightly to be more comfortable. I was laying down on top of him my head rested against his chest. His arm was draped lazily around my waist and the one was behind his head. I started becoming sleepy as his embrace became tighter.

"What a relaxing day." Dazai commented as he let out long sigh.

He stayed silent for a few moments, thinking. It was dead silent in the house. The only thing breaking it was his soft breathing and slow heartbeat.

"Would you commit suicide with me if I ask you to?" He asked quietly.

I kept quiet for a few moments. Thinking about it. I was a little concerned, wanting to know if he was planning to do it soon and why he'd ever want to do that.

"In all seriousness, yeah." I mumbled.

I felt his hand resting on my waist twitch a little as his breathing hitched. He stayed silent again for a few moments before speaking up.

"Why?" Dazai asked.

I heard his heart start beating faster. I stayed still for a few moments before sitting up, on top of his lower abdomen. I grabbed his hand and rubbed my thumb over the bandage that wrapped around half of his hand.

"Why would I need a reason to do so?" I ask, meeting his gaze, "I don't have a reason a live, so I don't have a reason keeping me from suicide. Either way, I don't really care to be alive nor do I care to die."

Dazai's eyes slightly widened. He grabbed my hand and gave it a little squeeze. I sighed and gave him a small smile. Then in a second, he pulled me into a tight embrace. I let out a small grunt as my body came in contact with his.

"I love you so much." He whispered into my ear.

"Are you okay, Dazai? I love you too." I asked, turning my head to face him.

Our noses were barely touching and I felt my cheeks slowly heat up as he smiled widely at me. I looked at him directly in his eyes which held endearment. Dazai placed his hand gently on my cheek, his thumb caressing my bottom lip.

"I'm wonderful, my love." He responded, before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

The blissful feeling arose in my chest. The kisses he had been giving me lately had changed slightly from before. They felt different, it had more of spark- I wasn't sure what it was. But I just noticed a small change. Maybe it was just me? It felt like it had more emotion in it. Though I wasn't sure.

Dazai pulled away, his smile was still plastered on his face. I didn't know what was going on with him. He had never called me anything other than my actual name.

"I'm glad that you are." I smiled.

I felt my blush begin to deepen as he continued to gaze into my eyes. I rested my head on his shoulder to break the eye contact. I closed my eyes and feel a wave of tiredness hit me. Dazai begins to hum a small soft tune, while stroking my hair.

My breathing becomes slow and soft as my body becomes heavier. I feel myself gradually fade out of consciousness. Dazai's humming begins to fade away and the feeling of his hand running through my hair goes away.

Sleep well.

-

chuuya is an inch shorter than i am and i will never forget that or get over it.