Emotions [Dazai x Reader]

Broke

[Y/N]

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"I thought he cared for me."

"What did he do or say that gave you that impression?"

"The way he talked to me.. smiled."

Chuuya sighed and put his arm around me, pulling closer to him as we walked to the Mafia. He decided that he wanted to keep me as far away as possible from Dazai today because of what happened yesterday, what I was told.

Chuuya had picked me up from my house this morning and we drove far away to an underground place, where he had to sign many papers and talk to a few people. Something about making an agreement with a few smaller organizations. This was unexpected, as he didn't tell me until this morning that this is what we'd be doing.

Dazai didn't contact me like I had asked him to. I wasn't feeling sad about what happened, nor did I really care- as long as he wasn't around me, the heart break was suppressed.

"He's able to see my emotions. Control my emotions. As well as others if he desired to- but that can only happen if he's able to control mine first." I blurted.

Chuuya stopped walking. He hooked his fingers onto the collar of my shirt and pulled me back, causing me to choke. His eyes showed anger and confusion as he looked into my empty ones.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"Please understand that as long as he doesn't know about this: it should be of no concern." I explained. "The only thing that is of concern, is that I cannot control the love category of my emotions; only if he is around me."

Chuuya sighed in irritation and shook his head. I looked away and continued walking. He walked close beside me.

"You don't deserve this." He sighed.

"Life is unfair. Complaining won't do. The only hope I had was him.." I quietly mumbled.

'Hope is just another lie humans create to keep themselves going.'

Ozaki's words flooded my mind as we went inside the elevator. I had only met her a few times. She was always busy, but her words always stuck with me. I never really understood this statement. Before all of this, I didn't understand hope nor think about it. When I started developing feelings, hope started rolling in. I hoped that I would impress Dazai. Make him happy. Hope that the loneliness I felt would be forever gone because I had Dazai.

But Ozaki was right. Deep down I knew relationships didn't last forever. Loneliness never goes away.

As we turned the corner, we saw the Mafia building, a few feet away. We saw Dazai, who was standing in front of the Mafia doors. He was looking at Akutagawa, shouting who knows what at him. As we got closer, his words became clearer.

"-You don't automatically get to decide what to do. All your reckless actions one day will come back and-" Dazai's voice fell as he saw Chuuya and I walking in their direction.

"I don't want you to say a single word to him. That's an order." Chuuya huffed into my ear.

I looked down at the ground as we walked towards the door. Chuuya walked close beside me, our arms rubbing each other. I could feel his anger radiating off of him.

"[Y/N]-"

"Don't." Chuuya snapped as we walked into the doors.

Obviously, Dazai didn't take the hint as he followed behind us. From the sounds of his heels hitting the floor, he was walking quickly. Once he was close enough, I already felt the emotions surging back up again. Dazai placed his hand on my shoulder and gripped it firmly, stopping me from walking.