The Day I Met Ana

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Song Choice: Magazine- a song about anorexia

_Wednesday_

I stayed holed up in my room because I knew if I went downstairs, I would be tempted to eat something. I don't know if my mother knew I was suspended or not but she probably would be too drunk to care even if I did tell her. I pulled out my IPod and immediately went to Safari but there was already something on my browser. After looking at it for I while I remembered. I had forgotten in gym, I was looking up Avorexica and all that stuff. I clicked on the link that said Tips/Tricks, instantly curious.

The whole website was dedicated to losing weight and getting to the 'perfect' size. The tips seemed pretty helpful so I screen shotted about 10 pages worth. I didn't seem to need the tricks because no one really paid attention to my eating habits. My mother was barley home and when she was, she was never sober. I only had one friend, Hannah, and Cole didn't know so I wouldn't be needing those. I clicked on the pictures tab and gasped. The girls that stood before me were incredible thin and their thighs didn't even touch or sag in the least. Their collar bones were prominent just like Ana's and they could even wrap their hands around their leg without any fat bunching up.

I stared at my own body and sighed heavily. I hated that I could never look like that. I was always going to be this fat sack of potatoes and no one would ever like me.

"You got that right." Eddy said, looking over my shoulder.

"You can't say things like that!" I gasped at his rudeness even though I should be used to it by now.

"I can say whatever I want bitch!" he yelled before pushing me off the bed.

"What the hell Ed!" I screamed before picking up my iPod and making sure it wasn't broken.

"My bad." he didn't sound sorry at all.

I huffed and sat on my beanie chair, away from him.

"You want to be thin right?" he asked, slowly inching towards me.

"Y-yeah." I stuttered, nervous about the way he looked.

He snatched my Idevice and quickly started typing something in.

"Hey! What are you-"

"Here." he handed it back to me.

I stared at him skeptically.

"Go on, look at it."

I looked at the screen and frowned. Counting calories? I sucked at that.

"That's why you need to plan out why your going to eat every day and never go over that amount."

"ED, I dunno."

"Trust me." he smiled maliciously.

"Okay."

_Thursday_

Today was the day that I would count my calories. I only had 800 calories today and I was silently freaking out inside. I didn't know if I could do this.

"You'd better." his voice hissed through my mind.

For breakfast, I was only allowed to have 2 slices of toast and some juice but if I skipped the juice, I could have some jam. I chose the jam because one of the tips I read said to never drink your calories.

That totaled up to 340 calories.

I brought it up to my room and slowly chewed the bread. I didn't want it to disappear too quickly or else I might go back for more.