The Day I Met Ana

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Song Choice: Who Are You Now by Sleeping With Sirens.

I stumbled down the stairs to see my mother with her legs propped up against the chair. I slowly inched my way to where she sat.

"Have a seat." she waved her hands at the empty chairs.

I sat down still partially skeptical about this whole confrontation thing. We sat in silence for the longest before she cleared her throat.

"So I know that I haven't been the best mother-heck, I know I haven't even been an okay mom but I wanted to say I'm sorry and that's going to change." She sucked in a deep breath before continuing. "That's why I've enrolled myself into rehab."

I blinked at the news, letting her words sink in.

"Rehab?" the words came out in a small voice.

"Yes honey, that means mommy is going to get better."

"Rehab." I repeated, still not believing I heard what she said.

She nodded before enveloping me in a hug. "Im trying for you hun, I'm really trying."

When she pulled back, her arms brushed against my wrist causing me to hiss out in pain.

Concern flitted in her eyes."Are you okay?"

Nodding furiously, I said," yeah, I sprained it in P.E. today."

She seemed to accept that idea and I was free to go to my room. Once I was in there, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was even holding. That was way too close for comfort. She had almost found my cuts. I sat on the edge of my bed as I thought about my Mum going to rehab. It would be nice to have a normal family again. She was sober now but in the back of my mind I wondered,

How long would that last?

_Wednesday_

I woke up to the smell of bacon and immediately my stomach growled. Stumbling to my feet, I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth. Before heading downstairs, I grabbed my bag.

"Morning hun." My mum called from the kitchen.

"Morning." I muttered, heading towards the door.

"Your not having breakfast?"

"Uhh...."

"Come on, its our favorite."

And that's how I came to be sitting at the table, shoveling food down my throat at 95 mph. By the time I had finished, I was stuffed to the brim and almost late for school.

"Hey mom?" I said as I loaded out dishes into the dishwasher.

"Yes hun?"

"Can you drive me to school, in going to be late and-"

"Of course."

•••+•••

I knew I was late for class, but I didn't realize how late I was until I got to the front office and they told me to go to second period, even though there was less than 40 minutes left of that class. I slowly opened the door to art before giving Mrs. Eden my late pass which she accepted gratefully.

"Hey Macy!" Cole bounded over to me as I began pulling out my art supplies.

"Hey."

"Why were you so late today?" he asked looking concerned.

"Oh, well I woke up late and my mother made breakfast so.... yeah."

"Oh. okay then."

Ok.

I was almost done with this project and it was a good things too because it was due today. All I had to add was a little bit of shading on the left leg and I'd be done. Time passed as I worked and before I knew it, I had finished my project with only five minutes to spare.

"Macy."

I went to wash out my brushes.

"Macy psst."

Then I put up my picture on the drying rack.

"Macy!"

"Huh?" I turned around to face Cole.

"Oh, um, " he stuttered," I, I have something to tell you later on."

"Why cant you tell me now?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"Because I- because."

"So you can't tell me now?" I said slowly, making sure I got what he was trying to say because he was being confusing.

"Yeah." He nodded before adding," i'll tell you at the end of the day."

Ugh.

"Really?"

"Really."

•••+•••

The school bell wouldn't ring fast enough. I couldn't pay attention to anything in class because my mind kept wandering to what Cole wanted to tell me. I would go insane if I didn't know soon enough. I was glad when the bell did ring though.

"So..." I began.

"So what?" he questioned as we walked out of the school together.

"What did you have to tell me." I stopped in the middle of the pavement.

"I.... well, it might be easier to show you." Cole turned towards me as he spoke.

"Show me wha-"

Before I could even say the rest, his lips were upon mine and I almost melted right there. My mind went into overdrive. Cole was kissing me and I was kissing Cole. The feeling of his lips on mine were heavenly.

But you don't deserve him. Ed's harsh voice infiltrated my thoughts.

Tears pricked my eyes as I realized he was right. I didn't deserve him. He was beautiful and everything any girl would want and I was just a potato.

He will never truly love you.

You're worthless.

You can't bring him down with you.

Let him go you selfish fat fuck so he can have someone better. Someone skinnier.

I shoved Cole off of me. Hurt was evident in his eyes as he watched me from where he stood.

"Why?" he asked in a small voice.

"I-its not you. It's me." I began with the most cliche thing in the world," its not that I don't like you, because I do, its just that....."

"What?" he came closer to me.

"I need a friend right now." I said in a whisper. "And that's it."

His thumb traced my cheek as he swiped away a few stray tears.

"I understand."

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "No, don't be. I get it. You only need a friend but just know that I'll always be waiting for you."

He pulled me in for a hug and I molded into him. He rubbed tiny circles in my back as I cried on his chest.

"I'll always be here for you. Always."

Always.